The Cowboy and The City Slicker
by dtav
Summary: Edward is a popular guy from New York. Due to a mix-up, he is forced to share his college dorm room with Jasper, a hick cowboy from Texas. How will these two boys get along, and will the cowboy teach the city slicker how to be a real man? Slash
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Here's another plot bunny that's been floating around in my head. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks to OCDJen for prereading and providing much needed advice and encouragement, and to my beta, JessDS, for fixing my mistakes!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play with them.**

Chapter One

_EPOV_

I couldn't believe it. The incompetence of the college administration was just unbelievable. My parents had paid for an upgraded single room, but somehow the office screwed up, and gave me a two bedroom suite with a roommate. While having a big room was nice and all, it meant that I, Edward Cullen, was going to have to share a dorm room with a stranger. As you can tell, I was not happy about the idea. In my two previous years here I always had a private room, and I wanted to keep it that way.

To make matters worse, I found out through the grapevine that my roommate was a hick cowboy from Texas. Great. As if the situation wasn't bad enough, I had to deal with a redneck. Not that I was biased or anything, but being from New York, I was a cool kid, one of the popular crowd. People looked to me to see what was in or out. I was up on all the latest fashion and was big into music, art, and film. What would he be into - sheep herding and cow wrangling? Not interested. Also, I was gay, and I didn't feel like dealing with any anti-gay, narrow minded, bible belt bullshit.

The only good thing that came out of the mix-up was the room. It was a two bedroom suite with two bathrooms, a living room and kitchen. Since I was the one inconvenienced by the whole thing, I took the big bedroom. Let's see what Joe Cowboy had to say about that.

The morning passed by quickly. Managing to get all of my stuff unpacked, I put my iPod docking station in the living room and was listening to music when I heard a key in the door. The moment of truth was here.

"Hey there. You must be Edward." The voice that spoke those words had the most amazing southern drawl.

Turning around, I stopped in my tracks as I drank in the vision before me. "Yes, um, I'm Edward Cullen." I shook his hand. "You are?"

He gave me the biggest grin. "I'm Jasper, Jasper Whitlock. It's nice to meet you, Edward."

He was fucking gorgeous! He was tall and slender, about 6' to my 6'1". His hair was full of gorgeous blond curls and he had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. He was wearing jeans, a flannel shirt, cowboy boots, and god help me, a cowboy hat. He was fuckhot. All I could think of was, ride me Cowboy.

"The pleasure's all mine Jasper." I said, and it was. As I looked at the cowboy standing before me, I realized something. I was in deep trouble. How was I going to hide my attraction to him when we'd be living in such close quarters?

"So, Edward since it seems like you already made yourself comfortable here, can you show me which room is mine?" he asked, smiling again showing off his dimples.

"Um, sure, Jasper, follow me." I led him across the living room to his bedroom door. His room was set up pretty much the same as mine, just a little bit smaller. Opening up the door, I waved my arm to allow him enter before me. Yes! His ass was just as fine as I thought it would be and his jeans hugged his thighs perfectly. I could only imagine how strong his thighs must be from all that horseback riding. Before I could get too deep into my fantasy, Jasper spoke up.

"Wow! I certainly never expected anything this nice. First off, I thought I'd be alone, and second, I thought my room would be the size of a broom closet. Are you sure this isn't some mistake?" He asked.

"There was a mix-up, but it was with my room. I was supposed to get an upgraded single, but instead got this. Since there were no singles left for you, they put you here with me."

"Sorry man. When I checked, they told me they had no singles left and that I'd be rooming with you. I didn't realize they screwed up your room request. I hope this isn't an inconvenience for you?" He looked at me questioningly.

What could I say? That ten minutes ago I was ranting and raving about living with a redneck, but now all I could think about was kissing his luscious lips? "No, no inconvenience at all." He gave me a look. One thing I could already tell about Jasper Whitlock was that he wasn't stupid, that's for sure. "I mean, yeah, I was pissed when I found out I was going to have a roommate cause I'm kind of used to doing my own thing, but now that we've met, I think this is going to turn out to be a good thing. Don't you?" I looked at him pleadingly.

"I do too, Edward. I think we are going to get along just fine." He smiled again, and the sight of those dimples went straight to my cock. Not wanting to embarrass myself by getting a hard on in front of the guy, I excused myself go and get some of his bags.

After helping Jasper bring in all of his bags and boxes, I hopped in the shower. Emmett was coming to pick me up. We were going to meet the rest of the guys for drinks at the pool hall as a little "night before school starts" celebration. If I was honest about it, we kind of celebrated everything as an excuse to go out and drink. As I was getting dressed I could hear Emmett's booming voice coming from the living room. When I went out there, he and Jasper were talking about where they were from. "Say, Eddie, Jasper here is a real live cowboy from Texas."

I just rolled my eyes at him. Looking at Jasper, I apologized for Emmett, "You have to excuse my cousin. We're convinced my aunt dropped him on his head when he was a baby."

"Hey what did I say? I was nice wasn't I Jasper? I even invited him to come out with us tonight and meet the guys." He was so proud of himself that I had to laugh.

"You were very nice Emmett, thanks. I'm gonna go and get my laptop from the car before we go. I'll be right back." With that, he left the apartment.

Emmett finished his beer. "You know, Eddie, Jasper doesn't seem half bad. And here you were all mad about having to room with a stinking backwoods redneck," he guffawed.

"Oh, is that what you think I am, Edward?" That smooth southern drawl was full of disdain.

Fuck! Emmett and I turned around in flash. Neither of us had heard Jasper come back in.

"I realized that I forgot my car keys so I came back. Good thing I did, or I would have continued to think you guys actually liked me and wanted me to come hang out with you tonight, but now I know better. I was probably just going to be your source of entertainment tonight, huh? The butt of your jokes perhaps?" He grabbed his car keys and cell phone off the coffee table and headed for the door. Emmett and I just looked at each other, and Emmett motioned for me to go after him.`

"Jasper, wait, hey, wait up." Jasper stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

"Why, Edward? Any other insults you want to throw at me?" He let go of the knob and turned around to look at me.

"No, Jasper, listen, man I 'm sorry about that. It's not true, I don't feel that way about you."

"Oh no? So you didn't say those things to Emmett?" He stood there with his arms crossed defensively against his chest.

"I did, but that was before I met you."

"Still isn't a nice thing to say about someone you don't even know."

"I know, but I was mad. I was supposed to have my own room and then I find out I had to share, and if that wasnt' bad enough I had to share with a..." I stopped myself before I put my foot in my mouth again.

"A stinking backwoods redneck?" Jasper turned back around and opened the door. "Don't worry about it Edward. I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine." He walked out the door and continued walking down the hallway.

"No Jasper don't go. I didn't mean it." Jasper just shook his head and kept going. Fuck. What was I going to do now?

Turning around I went back in the apartment and closed the door. When I entered the living room, Emmett was just standing there looking at me.

"I'm sorry, Ed, man. I didn't know he was there. He's quiet like a mouse, that one. Hurting his feelings wasn't my intention. I never would have repeated that shit if I knew he was there."

"It's okay, Emmett. It's my own fault, really. I shouldn't have said anything like that to begin with considering I didn't even know the guy. Now, he hates me and I have to spend the whole year rooming with him."

"Maybe it won't be too bad. I'm sure once he gets to know you, he'll realize you're not like that." Emmett was forever the optimist.

"We'll see Emmett. Let's go otherwise we'll be late meeting the guys and I could really use a drink." _Or ten. _I thought.

The night passed in the usual fashion. We ate, drank, played pool, and drank some more. It wasn't until Yorkie faceplanted on the felt, that we realized it was time to go. Letting myself into the apartment, I tried to be as quiet as possible so I didn't wake up Jasper. The last thing I needed was him getting mad at me for something else. I needn't have worried though because he was already up.

Standing at the entrance to the living room I could see him on the couch watching TV. I felt so bad about what happened and I knew I needed to apologize again. Doing it now wasn't the best idea though, as I was a little drunk, but I went over to the couch anyway and sat down next to him.

"Jasper," I asked. "Why are you awake? Is everything okay?"

"Don't pretend to be concerned Edward. Just go to bed and leave me alone." He didn't even look at me.

"I'm not pretending Jasper. Despite the fact that I said some shitty things, I am a good person, and I am concerned. So, tell me."

He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. "Don't push me. I don't think I could handle it right now, okay. Just leave me be."

What the fuck was going on? "No, Jasper. I'm not leaving. Talk to me. You don't have to like me or trust me, but talk to me."

Turning his head he opened his eyes and looked at me. "I just don't want to have to deal with this bullshit again, that's all."

"What bullshit, Jasper? Tell me."

"Living with a roommate who can't stand the site of me." He closed his eyes again.

What was he talking about? "Jasper, I don't feel that way about you. I like you, I really do. And I can't tell you how sorry I am that you overheard Emmett's remarks. My intention was not to hurt you, I didn't even mean them. I was just a spoiled brat having a temper tantrum because I didn't get my own room, that's all it was. I swear."

He opened his eyes and just layed there looking at me. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes, Jasper, I do. Can we please start over? I promise to keep my foot out of my mouth this time." I kept my fingers crossed while he thought it over.

A small smile broke out over his face. "Okay Edward. I'll give you another chance. But I feel I should warn you. Three strikes, and you're out. You already have one against you."

Smiling back I said, "Fair enough Jasper. Let's shake on it." Grabbing his hand in mine, I was shocked by the jolt of electricity I felt shooting up my arm. From the surprised look on Jasper's face, he must have felt it too. He dropped my hand like it was on fire, stood up and starting walking to his room.

"Jasper? Where are you going?"

Without looking back he said, "To bed. I don't know about you, but I have an early class tomorrow. See you in the morning, Edward." He walked into his room and closed the door.

Sitting on the couch in shock I tried to figure out what the fuck had just happened. Jasper and I made up after he accepted my apology and confessed to me that his old roommate hated him. I made a mental note to find out why. We shook hands only to be practically electrocuted while doing it. Then, he just jumped the fuck up and cut out. Why? I was too tired to deal with this shit now, but I'd definitely be getting some answers out of one Jasper Whitlock tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N ****Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and put this story on alert! I am so glad you are enjoying it. Thanks to OCDJen for prereading and providing much needed advice and encouragement, and to my beta, JessDS, for fixing my mistakes!**

**Discl****aimer: I own nothing Twilight, but I do own all five seasons of Queer as Folk. If you haven't watched that, all I can say is you don't know what you are missing! All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to make them do naughty things!**

_**Sorry for the reposting! Apparently fan fic duplicated some paragraphs when I upload the document. Thanks to TwistedforTwilight for pointing it out to me!**_

Chapter Two

EPOV

By the time I woke up, Jasper was gone. I vaguely remembered him mentioning that he had an early class. Reviewing my list of mental notes, I added a new one: to get a copy of his class schedule. Since my first class started at eleven and it was now ten, I hopped in the shower. While in there I started thinking about Jasper. I was glad that we were able to work things out last night. He seemed like a really nice guy, and I wanted the opportunity to get to know him. Having a roommate wasn't my choice, but since the fates stuck me with Jasper, I was willing to give it a go. He was fuckhot and as far as I knew straight. This meant I had my work cut out for me, trying to keep my obvious attraction a secret from him. Hell, just thinking about him now made my dick get hard. Fuck! Squirting some body wash into my hand, I decided to take care of my problem now so it wouldn't come back to haunt me when I saw Jasper later.

Sliding my hand over my cock, I closed my eyes and pictured Jasper's face. I could just see him on his knees in front of me. His pink tongue coming out to lick his luscious lips and flick against my slit, collecting the droplets of pre-cum. "Hmm" he'd say. His eyes sparkling as he looked up at me through his long lashes. Fuck, he was sexy. "What do you want, Edward?" he'd say in his sexy drawl. "Do you want to fuck my mouth, baby?" Fuck yes! I could see him sliding his lips over the head of my cock. Shit, I was already so close. He'd suck me all the way in while playing with my sac, massaging them with his hand. His other hand would slide up my chest and pinch my nipples. Throwing my head back in ecstasy, I pumped myself harder and faster. Bobbing his head up and down, he'd swallow around me. Then he'd slide his hand away from my sac and caress the one place I really wanted him. My legs were trembling and I could feel that familiar sensation building within me. Without any warning, Jasper would plunge his finger into my ass causing my orgasm to erupt out of me. "Oh shit, Jasper!" I screamed as I came harder than ever before.

"Edward? I heard you scream for me. What's wrong? What happened?" Jasper's voice penetrated the fog of pleasure that was coating my brain. Wait, what did I just hear? Jasper's voice?

Fuck no! Opening my eyes, I saw my worst nightmare coming true. There stood Jasper Whitlock in my bathroom, holding the shower curtain looking at me with his eyes wide open. There I stood with my hand on my cock, cum all over my hand and the wall so there was no doubt in his mind what I had been up to. And the worst part of it was, I yelled out his name, and he heard me. Fuck my life.

Jasper's eyes trailed down my chest to my cock, and then back up to meet mine again. He shut the shower curtain and said "I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't know. The way you screamed my name I thought... but instead...I, um, I need to go."

Shit! Rinsing off my hands and the wall, I shut the shower and jumped out. Throwing a towel around my waist, I ran out into the hallway and grabbed Jasper just as he was getting ready to open the front door.

"Jasper, wait. Let me explain. It's not what you think." He turned around and looked at me.

"It's alright, Edward. I was just a little surprised that's all. Of all the things I expected to see when I ran into your room, that wasn't one of them." He shook his head and looked down at the floor. "We just can't seem to get off on the right foot can we?" He asked.

"Look Jasper. I know it looks bad. Honestly, I'm really embarrassed about being caught jerking off. We all do it, but it's something you really don't want to see your friends doing, am I right?"

Jasper nodded his head.

"As for screaming your name," Think, Edward, think! "After I was done with what I was doing, I heard a noise. Not being used to having a roommate, hearing it really freaked me out. I called for you, hoping it was you. You coming in to save the day like a knight in shining armor was not what I expected." Please believe me, please believe me.

"Oh hell, Edward. I'm sorry. When I saw you like that after hearing you call my name I just assumed..." He trailed off.

"It's okay, Jasper. Are we okay?" I asked while motioning between the two of us.

"Yeah man, definitely."

"Glad to hear it. I need to get ready for class, so I'll catch you later?" I asked.

"Sure. My last class ends at 4:00 so I'll be back after that."

"Mine ends at 4:30 so I'll get back right after you. Maybe we can grab some dinner together."

"Sounds good. I'll see you then." With that Jasper headed off to his room and I went to get ready for class.

The rest of the morning passed rather quickly. The first day back at school always excited me. The best part was seeing if you had any of your friends in the same class as you, and whether or not you had any of your favorite teachers. I had a couple of classes with Emmett, which was great. We headed to the cafeteria in between them to grab some lunch.

"So," Emmett said while taking a bite of his sandwich. "How are things with Jasper? Did you guys work things out or not?"

"Yeah, actually, we did. He was still up when I got in last night. Or early this morning I should say. He accepted my apology and we decided to start over again. We're gonna grab dinner together tonight." There was no way I was telling Emmett about the JerkOff Fiasco that occurred this morning.

"I'm glad, Edward. Jay seems like a nice guy, and I know you like him, so I'm happy things worked out."

"What do you mean I like him? I mean, he's a nice guy, yeah, but I hardly know him." Shit, if I was that obvious that Emmett figured it out, than Jasper must know. Was he just pretending to believe me this morning or what?

"Eddie, my man, you had a hard on for the guy from the minute he walked in the door."

"Emmett, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I've known you for how long, huh? I can tell when you have an eye for someone. It's okay, I don't think he noticed. He was too busy being mad at you." Emmett turned his attention back to his lunch.

"Whatever Em, I gotta run. My next class starts in five minutes. Talk to you later." I couldn't wait for this day to be over.

When my last class was finally done, I let out a sigh of relief. Even though I was still embarrassed about what had happened this morning, I still couldn't wait to get home and see Jasper. The fact that he believed my lie just confirmed for me that he was indeed straight. Otherwise, he would have seen right through me. That was okay though, Jasper being straight. I was just going to have to keep control of my emotions and my body's reactions when he was around.

The apartment was quiet when I walked in. That surprised me as I remembered Jasper telling me his class ended at four. Stopping in the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and headed to my room. I could see that Jasper's bedroom door was open, but he was nowhere to be found. I plopped on my bed and opened my psychology textbook. The professor had already given us a paper to write, and it was only the first day. My intention was to read a couple of chapters while I waited for Jasper to get home, this way I'd be a little bit ahead of the game. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Jasper was shaking me awake.

"Hey, Edward, wake up."

I forced my eyes open and the first thing I saw was Jasper's luscious lips, just inches from my own as he leaned over me to wake me up.

"Jasper, sorry. I must have fallen asleep." Shaking my head, I tried to clear the fog of sleep from my brain.

"Guess your psychology text isn't all that interesting, huh? Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Jasper chuckled.

"What time is it?" Swinging my legs off the bed, I stood up and stretched. When I lifted my arms over my head, my shirt pulled up exposing my stomach.

"It's about five-thirty. I know I said I'd be home earlier, but I got hung up in my last class. We already have a project to work on and we had to pick our groups and decide what each of us was going to do."

"No problem Jasper. You're here now. Hungry?" I turned to look at him and I could have sworn I saw him checking me out while I stretched.

"Starved! What's good around here?" He flicked his eyes to the floor, and then back up to mine.

I could have sworn that I saw lust and desire in them, but that wasn't possible, was it? "If we drive into town we can get just about anything, so it's really up to you, Jasper."

"I don't care, Edward, you decide." He licked his lips while looking at me.

I could feel my dick starting to harden. Shaking my head to clear it of the dirty thoughts residing there I said,"There's a great burger joint that doesn't get too crowded this early. Let's head there, this way we can talk while we eat." I had a lot of questions for Jasper, and I was hoping to get some answers from him tonight.

We decided to take my car since Jasper wasn't familiar with the town or the campus.

"This is yours?" Jasper asked when we reached my car.

I was very proud of my car. It was a midnight blue Camaro Z28. "Yes. It was my dad's, and he fixed it up himself and gave it to me when I left for college."

"It's pretty awesome. You must get a lot of chicks with it. Girls love a fast car." He looked over the car with an appraising eye.

"Yeah, well, not as many girls as you would think." I said.

Jasper smirked at me. "I don't believe that for a second, not unless you're gay?" He said with a little bit of a questioning tone in his voice.

Shit! What do I do now? If I said I was gay, he would know I lied to him this morning and that I was jerking off thinking of him. But, I couldn't lie to him, that wouldn't be fair either. "Well, actually Jasper..."

"Hey guys! Where are you going?" Emmett bounded up to us, slapping me on the back.

Talk about being saved by the bell, or more like it, the bull. "We are just going to grab dinner at Doc's." I said.

"Mind if I join you guys? I would kill for a burger." Emmett looked back and forth between the two of us.

Jasper caught my eye and shrugged. I knew this was supposed to be about the two of us talking and clearing the air, but after what just happened, I was more than happy to have a third party with us. "Sure, Em. Hop in." Shrugging my shoulders, I gave Jasper an apologetic smile. He just smiled back and hopped in the back seat.

Emmett talked the whole way to Doc's, so whatever uncomfortableness that was lingering in the air before was gone by the time we got there.

Dinner was a lot of fun. We talked about our first day back at school, and Emmett regaled us with stories about all the girls that were after him. Jasper spoke a little bit about his old school, but we could see he was very uncomfortable about it so we stopped asking him questions. I figured I would get some answers from him when we were alone together. We ended up having a really great time, and just as we were done as we were about to leave, Tyler and some of the guys walked in to play pool. Jasper wanted to play, so we stayed for a bit and shot a few games with them. As it turns out, Jasper is a really good pool player, go figure. When it was time to go, Emmett decided to stay and catch a ride back with Paul. This left Jasper and I on our own.

Getting into the car, I threw a glance at Jasper and caught him looking at me with an intense expression on his face. I got in the car and started the engine without acknowledging him or his look. As I started to pull out of the parking space, Jasper put his hand on my arm.

"Edward, I need to ask you something."

Looking at his hand on my arm, I put the car back into park and turned to face him. "What's up, Jasper?" I knew what was up; I was just playing dumb and trying to buy myself some time.

"That question I asked you, before Emmett interrupted us, you remember?" He looked at me questioningly.

"Yes, I remember." I didn't want to be short with him, but I needed to stall him as long as I could.

"You never answered me. You started to, but then Emmett interrupted us." His gaze was so intense that it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well, what difference does it make? I mean, would it bother you if I was gay? Or straight?" I knew it was wrong to put this back on him, but I really felt like I had no choice.

"No, not at all. It doesn't matter to me if you are straight or gay. I guess I'd just like to know, and since we are living together, I kind of feel like I have a right to know."

He was right, he did have a right to know, but I had a right to know some things, too. "Okay Jasper, I will answer your question on one condition."

"What's that, Edward?" I could tell by the expression on his face that he was very confused by my request.

"I will answer your question about my sexual orientation if you tell me what happened with your last roommate." Crossing my arms over my chest, I sat back and waited for his answer.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Thanks to my prereader, OCDJen, for helping me spice things up, and to my beta, JessDS, for finding time in her busy life to continue to beta my chapters for me. OCDJen was recently flamed for her story 'The Edge of Love' because the reviewer did not think her character, a gay mobster, was believable. First of all, OCDJen is one of the best slash writers on FanFiction and her stories cover all walks of life. Second of all, as an Italian myself I can tell you that gay mobsters do exist. They may not be as plentiful as the straight ones, but they are around. And last, but not least, FanFiction is exactly that - fiction. It's an arena where we can read and write about pretty much anything. It's a shame that a talented writer like OCDJen has to get flamed by someone who didn't have the decency to leave their name. None of us get paid for this so the least we can do is be fair when reading and reviewing each other's work. Okay, enough about that, on to the story!

Disclaimer: Don't own, wish I did!

Chapter Three

_"Edward, I need to ask __you something."_

_Looking at his hand on my arm, I put the car back into park and turned to face him. "What's up, Jasper?" I knew what was up; I was just playing dumb and trying to buy myself some time._

_"That question I asked you, before Emmett interrupted us, you remember?" He looked at me questioningly._

_"Yes, I remember." I didn't want to be short with him, but I needed to stall him as long as I could._

_"You never answered me. You started to, but then Emmett interrupted us." His gaze was so intense that it made me feel uncomfortable._

_"Yeah, well, what difference does it make? I mean, would it bother you if I was gay? Or straight?" I knew it was wrong to put this back on him, but I really felt like I had no choice._

_"No, not at all. It doesn't matter to me if you are straight or gay. I guess I'd just like to know, and since we are living together, I kind of feel like I have a right to know."_

_He was right, he did have a right to know, but I had a right to know some things, too. "Okay Jasper, I will answer your question on one condition."_

_"What's that, Edward?" I could tell by the expression on his face that he was very confused by my request._

_"I will answer your question about my sexual orientation if you tell me what happened with your last roommate." Crossing my arms over my chest, I sat back and waited for his answer._

Jasper froze in place as he looked over at me. "Forget it, Edward. Forget I said anything. Can we go home now?"

"What? What do you mean forget it? You want me to answer personal questions about myself, but when I ask you to do the same you just want to forget it? That's totally unfair, Jasper."

"Listen, Edward, I really can't talk about this right now. Can't you just let it go?" He started wringing his hands in his lap.

I felt bad for antagonizing him like this, but I wanted some answers. "No, I can't let it go Jasper. You said it yourself, that as my roommate you deserved some answers from me, and you were right. But it goes both ways. As your roommate, I deserve some answers from you, too."

"Edward, please just drop it. I don't want to fight with you, I really don't, so please just drop it."

"Hey guys!" Emmett's voice boomed across the parking lot. "I thought you left already?"

"We got a little delayed." I snapped out. Emmett gave me a questioning look. I could tell he was dying to ask me what was going on, but just then the rest of the guys came stumbling over.

"Hey, you guys are still here." Paul said stating the obvious. "That's great, now you can give Emmett a ride back."

"Sure thing, Paul." I said. "Hop in Emmett. I'll drive you back." Jasper huffed, crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head away from me to look out the window. I knew he was mad, but it wasn't my fault that Emmett was going back with us. While Emmett was saying goodbye to the guys, I reached over and grabbed Jasper's arm to get his attention. "Look, I'm sorry we got interrupted. Can we finish this discussion later?"

""Whatever, Edward." Jasper mumbled. "It's no big deal." _It doesn't look like it._

"It obviously is, Jasper. We'll talk as soon as we get home."

Jasper just nodded his head and turned back to look out the window. Emmett got in the car and immediately started talking about how he ended up beating everyone at pool. His incessant chatter was a good thing, as it made it less obvious that Jasper and I weren't really talking to each other. He kept his face turned towards the window for the whole ride. When we finally arrived at the dorms, he was the first one out of the car. "Hey, Jasper, where are you going?' I yelled after him as he made his way to the front door. "Wait for me."

"I'll see you upstairs, Edward. I need to take a shower." With that, he went through the doors and upstairs.

Emmett climbed out of the car and slapped me on the back of the head. "What did you do now?" He asked.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything!" I replied while rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well, you obviously had to do or say something to cause Jasper to run out of here like that."

"It's a little complicated, Emmett, and I really don't feel like getting into it right now." All I wanted to do was to get upstairs to Jasper.

"Come on, Ed, fess up. Maybe I can help." He said looking genuinely concerned.

"Fine, I'll tell you. We were in the middle of a heated conversation when you interrupted us on the way to dinner, and we were trying to continue it when you guys showed up in the parking lot. Jasper was a little annoyed because we keep getting interrupted. That's all."

"What were you guys discussing that has his panties in such a twist?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does matter. Anything that has you looking this upset, and makes you act this fidgety, matters. Spill it."

"He asked me if I was gay, and I refused to answer him."

"Why? You've never been shy about it before."

Emmett was right about that. Once I came out of the closet, I never went back in, not for anyone. "I can't explain it Emmett. I just felt that telling him the truth would push him away from me and that''s the last thing I wanted to do."

"What did you tell him then?"

"I told him I wouldn't answer his question until he told me what happened with his last roommate." Upon seeing Emmett's confused expression, I elaborated a little. "During one of our prior discussions, he mentioned that he had some serious issues with his last roommate, which is why he was so sensitive to the comments I made about him that first day. I got the feeling that something bad happened, and I was curious to find out what. Plus, it was a stall tactic to buy myself a little more time."

"Well, I think your time is up, buddy boy." He said waving his hand toward door.

When I turned around to look, I could see Jasper waiting by the door for me. His hair wasn't wet so he hadn't hit the shower yet.

"Are you coming, Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, sure, right now." I replied as I walked to the door. "Goodnight, Emmett." I called over my shoulder, before turning back around to wave to him.

"Goodnight, Edward. Goodnight, Jasper. I'll see you guys tomorrow." With that he walked passed Jasper and went up to his room.

"Night, Emmett." Jasper said keeping his eyes locked on mine. "Are you ready, Edward?"

"Let's go." We remained silent the whole way to our room. Once inside, Jasper grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed for the living room.

Handing me a beer he said, "Sit, Edward. I have to be completely honest with you. There are somethings about my past that I am just not comfortable talking about. If you can't accept that, then I will find another place to stay."

Sitting down on the couch, I took a sip of my beer before I answered him. "Jasper, no. I mean, I want you to stay here with me. I just feel that if you want to know something personal about me, then you need to share something personal back. If you are not comfortable talking about your situation with your old roommate, that's fine, just tell me something else then."

"Fair enough, as long as I decide what to tell you." Nodding my head in agreement, he continued. "Okay then, ask away." He said opening his arms up in a sign of surrender.

Picking the corner of my beer label, I sat there trying to think of something to ask him since I couldn't ask the one question I wanted. Looking over at Jasper, I could see him looking at me expectantly. "I really can't come up with anything right now. I guess I need a little time to think about it. Is that okay?" I asked him while taking a sip of my beer.

"That's fine with me. I guess we will finish this discussion tomorrow then?" His shoulders sagged in relief when he realized he was out of the hot seat.

"Sure. Tomorrow's Friday, so that means partytime. Every Friday one of the floors has a big party. We all take turns buying the beer and snacks, and we end up having a great time. The best thing about it is that we don't have to worry about anybody driving when the party is over. It works out really well. Since you are a newbie, I'll have to break you in.'

"Break me in?" He questioned with a waggle of his eyebrows. "I'm not a wild horse, you know."

"I can see that." I said chuckling at him. "Tomorrow night will be time enough to show you what I mean." Finishing my beer, I went into the kitchen to put the bottle in the recycling bin. When I turned around, Jasper was right behind me causing me to bang into him. "Sorry man." I said taking a step away from him. "Didn't see you there."

"No problem, Edward. Just wanted to throw out my bottle and head to bed." He recycled his bottle and walked past me. "Goodnight, Edward. I guess I'll see you at some point tomorrow. You have a good night, ya hear?" He said turning around and heading to his room.

"Night, Jasper. See you tomorrow." Entering my room, I closed the door and leaned back against it. I was given a reprieve until tomorrow and I was thrilled about it. My relief at being let off the hook was clouded by my fear of finally having to tell Jasper the truth. While I wasn't sure what had happened with his roommate, I was sure of the fact that me coming out was going to cause a problem.

"Thanks, Jasper. I hope you have a good night as well."

By the time I got back to the room the following night, the party on the first floor was already in full swing. Even though it was only 5:00, the hallways were full of people drinking and laughing. Music was blasting from someone's ipod, and I couldn't make it to the stairs without banging into people left and right. When I finally got to my room, I was exhausted from the obstacle course I had just run. Throwing my bag on the floor, I went into the kitchen for a drink. Jasper was sitting at the table with several empty beer bottles in front of him.

"Hey Jasper. Started the party a little early, huh?" I asked while grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Yeah. I figured what the hell, might as well start now." He took a sip of his beer and looked up at me. "He said we'd be great friends, you know, but it wasn't true."

"Who said that? What are you talking about?" Did I miss something? What was he talking about?

"My college roommate, James. We met back in high school, in junior year. From the minute I laid eyes on him I knew he'd be an important part of my life. He told me he felt the same way, that we were meant to be friends, to be together." Jasper looked so sad as he peeled the label off his beer bottle.

What did he mean by together? Did he mean "together" together? "I gather that you guys aren't friends anymore?" This must be the roommate that he had issues with at his last college.

"No, we are not, and I miss him terribly. He was such a big part of my life for such a long time. When the friendship ended I had a really hard time moving on."

Wow, no wonder Jasper didn't want to talk about this. I thought of how I would feel if I suddenly wasn't friends with Emmett anymore, and I didn't like the feeling I got. "You said you were friends since high school, right?" I asked.

"Yes, since the middle of junior year."

"So, how did you guys meet?" I wasn't sure if he would tell me, but I was dying to know.

"I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. I was in the parking lot at school with my friend Alice when I felt eyes on me. I turned around expecting it to be one of the many girls always sniffing around me, but it wasn't. It was him. He and his sister had just transferred to the school. Their parents divorced and their mom moved back to live with her folks. He was gorgeous, and he was looking right at me. I was so embarrassed that I turned and ran right into the school. We met up later in one of my classes and we started talking. I can't explain it, but we just connected. We were best friends from that day forward up until..." Jasper put his beer bottle down and got up from the table.

I watched him pace around the kitchen. My confusion about his sexuality was increasing. He mentioned the girls always sniffing around him, but he also mentioned how gorgeous James was. Maybe he was bisexual. My curiousity got the best of me and I had to find out more. I didn't want to pressure him, though, so I gave him an out.

"Jasper, we don't have to talk about this now if you don't want to." I wasn't sure that talking about this stuff now was a good idea especially since Jasper had been drinking.

"I need to talk about it, Edward. It needs to come out otherwise it will just keep festering inside of me." He sat back down at the table after grabbing another beer from the fridge. "James was right. He and I were great friends. We did everything together. The two of us were pretty much inseparable." He shook his head. "I don't know what happened."

"Well, something happened to end your friendship? What was it?" Pressuring Jasper really wasn't something I wanted to do, but he did say he wanted to talk about.

"James felt that we wanted different things in life, and that we didn't have anything in common anymore." He started pacing around the kitchen again. "We have so much in common, it's sickening. We were both on the football team and the baseball team. We both liked to swim and run. We liked the same kind of movies...You get the picture, right?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I get it. Em and I are like that, too. We've been friends since kindergarten, and we've always done everything together until we started dating, that is."

"Did you and Em ever double date?"

"Uh," I stammered. How did I get around this one without outing myself? "No, we never really did. It just never seemed to work out, I guess."

"Well, James and I never double dated either. He dated alot of girls, but I wasn't really much of a ladies man. I guess that's when we started drifting apart. When we went away to college, I was really happy because I thought our friendship would come together again, but that didn't happen. If anything, the gulf between us just continued to widen. And then, it just all fell apart." He sat back down and put his forehead on the table.

I moved into the chair next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. "Jasper, maybe that's enough for tonight, okay? Let's go meet Em and the guys and have some fun tonight. This conversation can always be continued another time." Rubbing circles on his back, I leaned over to see if I could catch his eye.

He turned his head and looked at me, and I was shocked to see his eyes full of tears. "No, Edward. I need to finish this now. No more pretending or hiding. The slate needs to be wiped clean." Picking his head up from the table, he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and turned to look at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" I asked, giving him one last chance to back out.

"I'm sure." He took a deep breath. "Just promise me something, Edward."

"Sure, Jasper, anything." I responded.

"What I'm going to tell you stays between us. You can't tell anyone, not even Emmett. Promise me." He begged.

"Of course, Jasper. I give you my word."

"Okay, I'm trusting you now, so please don't let me down."

After giving him my assurance again that I would not break his confidence, he finally seemed satisfied that his secret would be safe with me.

"Okay, then. My relationship with James fell apart the night he...um...well he...um.. Shit!" Jasper shook his head and swallowed hard. "Okay, my relationship with James ended the night he tried to rape me." With that bombshell, he got up from the chair and ran from the room. I could hear him sobbing as he ran away, and when his bedroom door slammed, I jumped in my seat. I knew I should run to him and see if he was okay, but all I could think about were his words, "...he tried to rape me..." Fuck. What was I supposed to do now?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, okay! I know everyone wanted to kill me for ending the last chapter as I did. I hope this chaper makes up for it. As always, thanks to my awesome prereader, OCDJen. She helps me over my walls no matter when they hit. Thanks also to my beta, JessDS, for working her magic on this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, if I did J and E would be a couple.**

Chapter Four

_"Okay, then. My relationship with James fell apart the night he...um...well he...um.. Shit!" Jasper shook his head and swallowed hard. "Okay, my relationship with James ended the night he tried to rape me." With that bombshell, he got up from the chair and ran from the room. I could hear him sobbing as he ran away, and when his bedroom door slammed, I jumped in my seat. I knew I should run to him and see if he was okay, but all I could think about were his words, "...he tried to rape me..." Fuck. What was I supposed to do now?_

I sat there at the kitchen table for I don't know how long. My mind was reeling with what Jasper had told me. He said "he tried to rape me" which was good because it meant he wasn't raped, right? I knew I should go to his room and see how he was, but I was afraid. The last thing I wanted to do was to say or do the wrong thing and traumatize him any further than he already was. I also didn't want him to think I didn't care about what he said. Making up my mind, I got up from the table and walked down the hall to Jasper's room.

As I neared his door, I slowed my pace. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. _'Get yourself under control, Edward. You need to put your fears aside and take care of Jasper.' _Taking a deep breath, I knocked on Jasper's door. "Jasper, it's me, Edward. Can I come in?"

He didn't answer, but I could hear him sobbing. I tried the door, but it was locked. "Come on, Jasper, open the door. Let me in so I can help you, please." Okay, Edward, think. If he didn't open the door, I could always pick the lock but that would be invading his privacy. What to do? What to do?

"Go away, Edward." Jasper sobbed out. "I don't want you to see me like this, just go."

"I'm not leaving, Jasper. Please open the door. Just let me see that you are okay." I begged.

I heard the click of the lock, then the door swung open. The Jasper that stood in the doorway broke my heart. His hair was messy, his eyes were swollen and red rimmed, and his shoulders were slumped. He looked so broken. Without even realizing what I was doing, I reached out and pulled him to me and hugged him tightly. At first he just stood there, unmoving, but after a few minutes he started sobbing into my shoulder and he wrapped his arms around my waist. We stood there for awhile, Jasper sobbing, and me running my hand through his hair and whispering words of encouragement in his ear. After a bit, Jasper's sobs started to slow down, until they finally stopped. He pulled away from me using both hands to wipe away the tears still on his cheeks. The shoulder of my t-shirt was soaked with Jasper's tears. He noticed it when he looked up at me and he became apologetic immediately.

"Edward, I am so sorry. I can't believe I did that. You must think I am such a douche." He started to back away from me, but I wouldn't let go.

"Not at all, Jasper. Don't worry about it, okay? I just want to help, that's all. Want to go sit down and talk for a bit?" I asked, while keeping my arms around him.

"You don't have to pretend, Edward. I know you must think I'm such a loser. Don't worry, though. First thing Monday I will go and get another room assignment so you won't have to put up with me any longer." Jasper tried to pull out of our embrace. I loosened my arms a little, but didn't let him go.

"What are you talking about? I don't think you are a loser, Jasper, and I certainly don't want you to leave. What I do want is for you to sit down and relax."

"How can you still want to be near me after what I just told you? After how I acted?" Jasper shook his head in frustration.

"Jasper, listen to me. What happened to you was not your fault. Your reaction was perfectly normal for someone who just shared a traumatic experience. I have not passed judgment on you Jasper, for anything. Please believe me when I say that, okay?" I let Jasper out of the hug, grabbed his hand in mine and led him to the kitchen. Motioning for him to sit, I grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed him one.

He nodded his head. "I'll try, Edward. It's just that when my family and friends found out what had happened with James, they all blamed me. He was the golden boy. No one believed that he would do what I said he did. They all believed his side of the story."

"Which was?" I was dying to know all of the details, but I could tell Jasper was still uncomfortable talking about it.

"That I had thrown myself at him, and when he refused and fought back, I tried to force him." He looked down as he played with the label on his beer bottle.

"Everyone believed him, even your own family?" How could his family not believe him? What kind of parent turns their back on their child?

"Yes, even my own family. They were so disgusted when they found out I was gay that it was easy for them to believe I would do something horrible like that. They loved James because he was a jock, an all around good old boy, something I never was. He was popular with the ladies, loved to work out and fix cars. I was never into any of that stuff. My interests were books, music, movies, drawing, painting, sculpting, things of that nature. My father always hated that about me because he was so athletic and so was my mom. Even my sister was more athletic than I was. She ran track, she was a cheerleader... You get the idea, right?"

"Yes, but still, for them to turn on you like that. That's horrible, Jasper. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"It was horrible, Edward, to have my whole family turn on me. My father agreed to continue to pay for my education if I left the school I was attending and never returned home again. He didn't want any of his friends or business associates to find out that his son was a queer. He gave James $5,000 to keep quiet about the whole incident. Imagine that, my attacker got paid for keeping quiet about what happened. It was a win, win situation for James and he took full advantage of it. He ended up with my friends, my family, and $5,000, while I ended up with nothing."

"Jasper, that is terrible. I mean, I can understand your father being upset about you being gay. My dad certainly wasn't thrilled when I told him about me, but to disown you like that? And to embrace James, the guy who attacked you? To believe him over you? That had to make you feel horrible." Geez, as upset as my dad was when I told him I was gay, he never once made me feel unloved or unwanted. I felt bad for Jasper that he was hurt, not only by James, but by his own family.

"It really did. I had always had a good relationship with my dad. We didn't do too much together as our interests were different, but we loved each other and took an interest in each others lives. Losing him was like losing a limb. A part of me is gone, never to be replaced." His voice was full of sadness. I wanted nothing more than to lean across the table and place a soft kiss on his lips, but I couldn't.

"What about your mom? And your sister? Surely they believed you?" I couldn't imagine his mother and sister turning against him. Even though my dad wasn't thrilled with me, he still loved me and called me son. My mother and brother embraced me for the person I was. They were proud of me for standing up for who I was. I felt really bad for Jasper, that he didn't have that kind of support in his life.

"My mom believed me, not James. She tried to convince my dad, but to no avail. My aunt, uncle and cousins sided with my dad. My mom was so upset about that. She left my dad after he kicked me out of the house. Her and my sister left Austin and moved to Dallas. We still keep in touch and she still helps me financially. My sister believed in me, as well. She argued with my dad left and right about how he treated me, but he didn't care. He threatened to disown her if she kept it up. I convinced her to give in because I didn't want her education to suffer. Even though my parents divorced, he is still supporting her. I can't show my face in town because if I do, he will cut all of us off. While I could care less about his money, I don't want my mom and my sister to be affected by my choices. My mom and sister plan on visiting me at Thanksgiving. You will probably meet them then. That is if we are still roommates." He looked at me hesitantly.

Smiling at him, I said. "We will definitely still be roommates, Jasper. This hasn't changed anything. I'm glad that you were able to maintain your relationships with your mom and sister. That must mean a lot to you, that they sided with you. As for the rest of your family, fuck 'em. They are obviously not worth it."

"It means the world to me, Edward. I was always very close to my mom and my sister. The fact that they supported me and not James made it easier for me to deal with the whole situation. My dad was so wrapped up in the fact that I was gay that he couldn't see me for who I was, his son. He would rather side with the rapist, then his queer son." Jasper shook his head in defeat. "No matter what I said or did, I couldn't get him to see the truth, to see me for who I really was. I'll never get over that, Edward, never."

"I know, Jasper, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. My relationship with my dad was always close. If he had rejected me when I came out, I would have been devastated. I am very lucky because my whole family was, and is, very supportive of me. You are lucky, too, Jasper. You still have your mom and your sister on your side, and now you have me." And he did have me, anyway he wanted me.

"Thanks, Edward. You don't know how much this means to me. I was so afraid that when you found out, you would kick me out and demand another roommate." His face was flooded with relief.

"Come here, man." I stood up, grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. "I'll always be here for you, Jasper. Remember that."

Jasper pulled back from me. "Wait a second! You said something before, something about coming out? You're gay, too?"

My secret was out. "Yes, Jasper, I'm gay, too. Does it matter?" I searched his face looking for any sign that it did matter.

"Not at all my friend. I'm actually really glad that you are. It'll be easier for me to be myself now that I know you'll accept me for how I am, cause you are the same way, too." He smiled the biggest smile showing off his two dimples.

"Yeah. It does make it easier. I have to admit, I was a little afraid of telling you. Not really knowing you too well, I wasn't sure how you would react. It makes me really happy to finally have it out in the open." My body was flooded with relief.

"It certainly does. Look, I'm sorry about this. I know you wanted to party hearty tonight and I just took the wind out of sails." Jasper started to pull away again, but I held on tight.

"Don't worry about it, Jasper. It was important for us to have this conversation. I hope that when you are ready, you will tell me the rest of the story about what happened with James."

"Maybe one of these days, Edward, but not tonight. Every time I think about it..." He shivered and I tightened my hold on him.

"Stop right there. No more thinking about it. Let's get freshened up, and go get shit faced." I pulled Jasper back into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and turned his face into my neck. Feeling his breath on my neck was sending shivers down my spine and was making my dick hard. Pulling my hips back a little so he didn't feel my arousal against his thigh, I leaned back against the table. Jasper followed me, pressing his lower body against mine, and I could feel his hard cock pressing against me.

"Yo! What's going on here? Damn, Eddie, you work fast. I thought it would take a little while longer before you got Jasper in the sack." Emmett boomed as he barged into the kitchen.

Jasper and I jumped apart faster than water on a hot griddle. Emmett stood there with a big grin as he took in our guilty faces.

"Nothing was going on, Emmett. We were just talking." I said with a shaky voice.

"Oh, really? Well, if that's talking, then I'm going to become a big conversationalist." He laughed.

"Think what you want. Nothing was going on." I said adamantly. Looking over at Jasper, I could see him looking at the floor. "Everything all right Jasper?"

"Sure, everything is fine." He said as he looked up at me. I could see the faint tinge of a blush on his checks.

"You guys plan on joining the party, or are you going to stay holed up in here all night 'talking'? Emmett made little quote marks in the air.

I looked over at Jasper and he nodded his head. "Yeah, we'll join you, I just want to take a quick shower and change." And take care of a little problem I was having.

"We'll be in Tyler's room, so just come there when you guys are ready." With that, Emmett left.

Jasper and I looked at each other and I couldn't help but smile at him. "Emmett's harmless, really."

"I know, it was just embarrassing to be caught like that by him." Jasper said.

"No worries, he's a big tease. I'm gonna hop in the shower. We'll meet out here in twenty?" I asked.

"That works for me." Jasper said as he headed off to his room.

Running into my room, I stripped my clothes off and sighed in relief as I released my aching dick. Swiping the precum off the top, I hissed in pleasure. Wrapping my wet hand around the base of my dick, I started stroking it slowly as I walked towards the bathroom. Thinking about Jasper and the feeling of his hard dick against my leg, and his breath against my neck, I knew it wouldn't take me long to find my release.

Leaning back against the bathroom door, I used my other hand to cup my balls and massage them. Increasing the pace of my strokes, I lifted my leg and put it on the top of my garbage pail giving my hand better access to my balls. Squeezing my balls one last time, I slid my hand further down and slipped a finger towards my hole.

Pressing my finger against it sent a ripple of pleasure shooting through me. Keeping my finger pressed there, I started stroking my dick faster and faster bucking my hips up with every stroke. Squeezing my dick tighter with each stroke, I wondered how good it would feel having my dick in Jasper's ass.

The thought of him on all fours for me sent me flying over the edge. "Shit!" I screamed as I shot streams of hot cum all over my hand and stomach. Panting heavily, I climbed down from my high and jumped into the shower and cleaned myself up.

When I emerged from my room, I found Jasper sitting on the couch waiting for me. "Feeling a little better now?" I asked him.

"A little bit. I'm looking forward to tying one on and forgetting about things for a little while." He answered.

"Well, let's get started!" Motioning for him to go out the door in front of me, I took the opportunity to check out his ass. Yes, it was definitely doable. We headed up to Tyler's room where the party was in full swing. Grabbing a couple of beers, we headed over to where Emmett and Paul were playing Xbox.

"Hey, guys!" Emmett boomed. "You finally made it. I was wondering if we were going to see you guys at all or if you were too busy.."

Cutting Emmett off quickly, I said, "We're here now. What are you guys doing?"

"Playing Halo, and of course I'm kicking Paul's ass as usual." One thing about Emmett, he was very confident.

"You are so full of shit!" Paul yelled. "You only win because you cheat."

"Cheat? I don't cheat. You are just a sore loser." Emmett threw his arm around Jasper's shoulders. "So, Jazz man, how good are you at Halo?"

"Good enough to whip your ass." Jasper chuckled.

"It's on then, let's go." Emmett dragged Jasper over to the console to play. I took the opportunity to look around and spotted this guy I had been eying in my Philosophy class. His name was Brad and he was absolutely gorgeous. He caught me looking at him and smiled at me as he made his way over to where I was standing.

"Hey, I'm surprised to see you here. You normally don't come to these parties." I said while giving him a big hug.

"I decided to take the plunge. You made them sound like a lot of fun." He said while scanning the room.

"Looking for someone?" I asked, feeling disappointment begin to flood through me. Brad was a looker. Six feet tall, brown hair, green eyes and a killer bod. We'd flirted with each other a lot last year, but nothing ever came of it. Obviously, nothing will.

"Yeah, I came with my friend Julian. You remember him?" He asked while continuing his search.

"Short, blond, with blue eyes?" Yes, I remembered him alright. He was a cutie, and apparently more than a friend to Brad.

"That's him. He didn't want to come so I kind of forced him. He took off on me when we got here and I haven't been able to find him since." He continued scanning the room.

"Let's take a walk and look around. Maybe we'll spot him somewhere. So, how was your summer?" I really didn't care how his summer was, I just asked to be polite.

"Awesome. Did some backpacking through Europe, then spent the rest on Martha's Vineyard. What about you?" He grabbed a couple of beers out of a cooler and handed me one.

"Thanks. Spent most of it in the Hamptons, with one side trip to St. Maarten with the family. It was fun, but I must admit, I was glad to get back to school to see everyone." I responded as I took a sip of my beer.

"I know what you mean. Getting back to classes kind of sucked, but I was glad to be back here to hang out. Hold up. I think I just saw Julian go outside with some guy. Come on." Brad grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him.

Following Brad through the crowd, we made our way outside onto the little balcony off the living room. I did a double take because there, kissing Brad's friend Julian, was Jasper, my Jasper.

**A/N2: Bad Jasper! What's he up to? Let me know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

******A/N Hey there! Just want to say thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I know I've been throwing some curveballs your way when it comes to the J/E relationship, but hopefully this chapter makes up for it. As always a big thanks to my prereader, OCDJen. Her influence on me is very evident in this chapter. Those of you who read her stories will see how! Thanks also goes to JessDS for working her beta magic!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, I just like them to do naughty things to each other!**

_"I know what you mean. Getting back to classes kind of sucked, but I was glad to be back here to hang out. Hold up. I think I just saw Julian go outside with some guy. Come on." Brad grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him._

_Following Brad through the crowd, we made our way outside onto the little balcony off the living room. I did a double take because there, kissing Brad's friend Julian, was Jasper, my Jasper._

Chapter Five

"Julian!" Brad yelled. "What the fuck are you doing?" He grabbed the back of Julian's shirt and pulled him away from Jasper.

"What do you mean what am I doing? What does it look like I'm doing?" Julian yelled back.

"From what I see, you're kissing some desperate homo." Brad continued yelling.

"Hey, wait a second!" I chimed in. "Jasper is not some desperate homo, he's my friend."

Jasper smiled at me for coming to his defense. I didn't smile back as I was still a little annoyed at finding him out here kissing someone else. He looked at me questioningly when he noticed the anger on my face. Turning my head back to Brad, I could see that he and Julian were in a heated discussion.

"You don't own me Brad. I can kiss whoever the fuck I want and there is nothing that you can say, or do, about it." Julian said while crossing his arms over his chest.

"I may not own you, but I do care about you. Don't you understand, I don't want you leading the wrong guy on. What if he tried to take advantage of you and you got hurt?" Brad asked.

"I'm a grown man, Brad. I can take care of myself. Besides, why do you care? You were busy talking with your friend here." Julian said with just a hint of jealously in his voice.

"Edward here is just a friend. He's in my Philosophy class, and we had a few classes together last year. We were just talking, you know, catching up on our summer vacations and whatnot. What do you care, anyway?" Brad demanded.

"I'm sick and tired of going places with you and having you run off to be with somebody else. It happens every time we are together, and I'm just tired of it I guess." Julian replied forlornly.

"Edward and I weren't doing anything, we were talking. There was no running off to do anything on the agenda, honestly. Right, Edward?" Brad asked, looking to me for confirmation.

Slowly, I was finally starting to understand what was going on here, that Jasper and I were just pawns in a game that Julian and Brad were playing to make each other jealous.

"Sure, Brad, nothing was going on, just talking. Actually, to be honest Julian, we were talking about you and Jasper. So imagine the shock of finding you two together like this." I said looking at Jasper.

"Listen, Edward, it's not what you think. I…" Julian cut Jasper off before he could finish his sentence.

"Brad, you and I need to talk. Can we go back to the room now, please?" Julian pleaded with him.

"Of course. Let's go. Good to see you Edward. Wish I could say the same for you Jasper, but I can't." Brad said snidely.

"Oh, stop it!" I said angrily. "Brad, this is my friend, Jasper. Jasper, this is Brad." I motioned for the two of them to shake hands.

After shaking hands reluctantly, Brad grabbed Julian's hand, said one last goodbye, and left. Now, Jasper and I were left standing there, on the balcony, where I caught him kissing Julian. To say it was like having an elephant in the room was an understatement. Neither one of us could look at the other, and neither of us wanted to be the first to talk. Finally deciding that enough was enough, I opened my mouth to speak, but Jasper beat me to it.

"I'm really sorry, Edward, that you had to walk in on that. You should know that it really wasn't what it looked like, and the last thing I wanted was for you to catch me doing it." Jasper was wringing is hands together.

"It's okay, Jasper. You and I don't have any kind of a claim on each other. If you find someone you are attracted to and you want to be with them, I would never hold you back." I said while my heart was clenching in my chest. Even though Jasper and I had just met, and really didn't have a claim on each other, the thought of him with someone else did strange things to me. I didn't like the way it made me feel.

"Edward, no, I don't want to be with anyone else. Really." Jasper said adamantly.

"It's okay, Jasper. I saw the way you were kissing Julian. You seemed really into it. Don't worry about Brad though; him and Julian are just friends. There's nothing going on there." I said confidently.

"That's where you are wrong, Edward. Julian has feelings for Brad, and Brad has feelings for Julian. Neither of them wants to be the first to admit it." Jasper stated.

"How do you know? You just met the guy! And, when I left you, you were going to play Halo with Emmett. How did you end up with Julian anyway?" This was something I was dying to know the answer to.

"After I left you and went with Emmett, we headed over to the game but Tyler and Peter were still playing. Julian was hanging out over there watching the guys play. Apparently, he is a big video game freak. Emmett introduced us and we started talking." Jasper replied.

"Okay. Sounds reasonable so far. So how did you get from talking to kissing? That's what I'd like to know." I really did want to know, and I needed to know. My feelings for Jasper were growing with each passing minute, and if he was interested in playing the field well then, I would have to nip those feelings in the bud before I got hurt.

"After Emmett introduced us, he called our attention over to where you and Brad were talking. He made a stupid comment like, "Those two will be fucking by the end of the night." When Julian asked him why he said that, he went on to say how you and Brad kind of danced around each other last year. He said that you guys had a lot of chemistry between the two of you but neither of you ever acted on it. He really felt tonight was the night something would finally happen between the two of you."

"Well, that's where he is wrong. Brad and I are just friends. That's the extent of our relationship. Emmett doesn't know what he is talking about." I stated firmly.

"He seemed pretty sure of himself." Jasper said while looking at me enquiringly.

"He's wrong. Brad and I are just friends. Yeah, we flirted with each other during class last year, but nothing ever came of it. All we were doing tonight was talking, catching up on each others news, nothing else." That was the truth.

"Julian thought otherwise. Apparently, Brad talked about you a lot last year, and made Julian pretty jealous. When Julian saw you guys together tonight, he got really upset and said he had to do something to make Brad realize his feelings for him. That's when he asked me to kiss him so everyone, namely you and Brad, could see."

"But you kissed him on the balcony. If we hadn't come out here, we never would have seen you.

"Julian saw Brad watching him. He knew Brad would follow us onto the balcony. He waited until he saw you guys coming, and then he kissed me." Jasper confessed.

"Why though? I still don't get it." Call me stupid, but I was really confused by all of this.

"Julian's been in love with Brad since the day they met. Brad gave him some speech about not wanting commitment, and not settling with one person, so Julian never told Brad the truth about how he felt."

"Well, I can understand that. Brad's not the relationship type. He doesn't even really date that much. In the year that I've know him, I've never seen him with the same guy more than a couple of times. I think your friend Julian is in for heartbreak with Brad."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. You didn't see Brad's face when he saw us kissing, I did. He was none to happy about it. And, the way he pulled Julian away was quite the jealous move, no?" Jasper asked cocking his head to one side.

He looked adorable like that. It took everything I had not to grab him and kiss him right then and there. Instead, I just answered him. "Yeah, I guess it could be construed that way."

"I think Brad is going to drag Julian home and have his way with him. First, though, I'm pretty sure Julian will make him sit through a discussion about their relationship."

"Man, I would love to be a fly on the wall for that talk. I don't think Brad's going to go for it though." One thing I knew about Brad was that he was not one to talk about his feelings.

"You might be surprised. Julian is a pretty good kisser and I'm sure he's not above using his assets to get his way." Jasper said while smirking at me.

That was it! I'd had enough of Julian and Brad and Jasper kissing someone else. A kiss he apparently enjoyed. "Oh, really now? He was a good kisser, was he? You think he's a better kisser than me?" I said while grabbing his hips and pulling him closer to me.

"Not by a long shot. Not that I'd know, it's just a lucky guess." Jasper answered while wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Glad to hear that. How about I show you who the better kisser is?"

"What the heck are you waiting for, Slick?" Jasper joked.

Crashing my lips to his, I pulled his hips closer to mine and wrapped my arms around his waist. Jasper responded by fisting his hands in my hair and plunging his tongue into my mouth. Kissing him was heaven. His taste was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I never enjoyed kissing someone as much as I enjoyed kissing Jasper. While our mouths explored each other, my hands starting roaming up and down his back.

Breaking apart for much needed air, Jasper looked at me with eyes full of lust and desire. "Take me home, Edward, please." He begged while brushing my hair off my face. Damn, he was gorgeous. His face was flushed, his lips slightly swollen and, if the bulge I felt pressing against mine was any indication, he was as hard as I was.

"You got it, babe. Let's beat feet." Grabbing his hand, we left the balcony in a hurry. On the way to the door, I spotted Emmett and mouthed to him that we were going to leave. He gave me a grin and wink, and waved us on. Once we got out of the door, we took off on a run laughing the whole way like the schoolboys that we were.

When we got to the door, I fumbled with the key. After my third failed attempt at getting it in the lock, Jasper took it from me and opened the door. Once inside, he pulled me in after him and closed and locked the door behind us. Pushing me against the wall, he pressed his lips to mine, and ground his hips against me. He was so fucking hard, and so was I. I kissed him back with everything I had and plunged my tongue into his mouth. Jasper moaned as we continued kissing and ground his hips against mine again and again.

"If you don't stop doing that, I'm going to cum in my pants like a sixteen year old in the back seat of a car." I said in a breathless voice.

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" He asked.

"Definitely not. I want to cum while I'm inside you." In the throes of passion, I didn't even realize what I said until I felt Jasper freeze up.

"Jasper? What's wrong?"

"Listen, Edward, I'm enjoying this, but I am nowhere near ready to have sex with you. I mean, I haven't had sex since the incident with James. Well, I have, but I've always topped. I haven't bottomed for anyone since then." Jasper looked at me beseechingly.

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to upset you. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. Guess I just got caught up in the heat of the moment." Running my hands through his hair to try to sooth him, I placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

He smiled. "It's okay. I kind of got caught up too. Do you mind if we slow it down a bit?"

"Don't mind a bit, Jasper. Listen, how about I let you take the lead? This way you have control over what happens and what doesn't. Sound good?" If control was what he needed, control was what he would have.

"Thanks, Edward. Now, where were we?" He asked as he pressed his lips back to mine. Moaning into the kiss, my hands went into his silky hair pulling him closer to me. Kissing his neck, I sucked against his pulsing vein there as my hands gripped on to his hips. Pushing my hard on against his, he groaned, the sound coming deep from within his chest.

Kissing slowly down my neck, his tongue swept across my Adam's apple before he sucked it. I moaned loudly feeling myself coming undone as his lips kissed down my neck, gently biting the base of my neck. His fingers moved slowly down my shirt until he pulled it off over my head. Every single touch set my skin on fire as he slowly pushed me down the hall to his bedroom. Once there, we kicked off our shoes and he pushed me down on the bed. His lips met mine for just one small gentle kiss before moving down my chest.

His tongue flicked against my nipple causing me to me moan loudly. Reacting to the intense pleasure, I pushed my head back into the pillows as he kissed around it before taking it into his mouth and pulling gently on it.

"That... feels... so..." My words came out in a whisper.

"I want you so fucking bad." He murmured in a husky voice in my ear. "I want to taste you right now." All I could do was moan at his words and buck my hips against his making him moan in delight.

I needed release badly; my body was on fire as he continued to rock his hips against mine. His fingertips slowly trailed my abs and his fingers left a burning heat in their wake. I gasped as he sucked down on my collarbone while his fingers continued their attack on my skin.

"Jesus..." My pleas were breathless as my body was overcome with emotions. My body felt so alive through just his simple touch. His fingers swirled around my belly button before dipping slightly. I cried out in pleasure as my hips rocked against his seeking more friction. He then trailed his fingers so lightly down my happy trail making the muscles in my stomach contract.

"Can I taste you, Edward...?" His voice was husky in my ear. Unable to speak, I moaned and nodded my head.

Suddenly he was off of me and pulling me up to a sitting position. He turned me around so my back was against the headboard. He met my lips in a feverish kiss full of want and need. As his tongue pushed into my mouth, Jasper unbuttoned my pants and motioned for me to lift my hips off the bed. As I did, he pulled my pants and boxers off throwing them on the floor. My hard, leaking cock sprang free and I sighed in relief. Jasper looked down at my length, and licked his lips. Taking my opportunity while he was distracted, I pulled off his shirt, and unbuttoned his jeans.

"What are you doing, Edward?" He asked his voice husky with desire.

"I want to taste you, too. Is that okay?" I questioned him. If he said no, I would be disappointed, but I would abide by his wishes.

"Yeah, that's okay." Lifting his body up, he opened his pants and pulled them off. He was going commando, and his luscious cock sprang free. Before I could reach out and touch him, Jasper spread my legs apart. His lips suddenly left mine as he sat back on his heels.

"I have thought about this since the first time I saw you." He murmured to me before I felt the tip of his tongue run across my leaking head. My hips bucked upwards as his lips covered my swollen head, sucking softly. His fingers trailed up my rock hard shaft making me moan his name almost wordlessly.

"Fuck Jasper!" Crying out, he suddenly released my head making me whimper.

"You fucking taste better than anything I have ever tasted." He whispered with lips lightly touching my throbbing head. The vibrations of his voice drove me wild. It took everything I had in me not to cum there and then.

The warmth of his mouth covered me again. He slid his lips down my hard cock until my cock hit the back of his throat. His mouth wrapped tightly around me creating mind blowing suction. He swallowed around me and hummed which made me thrust my hips and cry out. My fingers gripped the sheets so hard I thought I was going to rip them.

Feeling his teeth lightly graze across my cock as he brought his lips back up, I moaned incoherently as he brought my body close to ecstasy. His tongue swirled around my head before dipping into the slit, flicking the very tip of his tongue against it. His head bobbed up and down my length in a fast motion, taking me in time and time again. My hips thrust upwards forcing myself into his mouth, and I was unable to stop it from happening. His hand slipped down and cupped my balls, rolling them skillfully around in his hand before tugging on them.

"Jasper, stop, please!" I begged.

He pulled his mouth off my aching cock. "What's the matter, Edward? What's wrong?" He asked anxiously.

"Nothing's wrong. That feels so fucking good." I said while trying to catch my breath. "Just move your body up here so I can taste you, too."

Jasper looked at me and then broke out into a big grin. "You got it, partner." He said laughing.

Lying down on my side, I waited for Jasper to position himself. When he was ready, I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and gave it one long lick before sucking his head into my mouth. Jasper moaned and wrapped his lips back around my cock. The dual sensation of having him in my mouth while being in his was causing unbelievable pleasure to crash through me.

Picking up my pace, I sucked Jasper's cock all the way into my mouth, and moved my hand down to caress his balls. Jasper mimicked my movements and soon we had a compatible rhythm going. I knew he was close when he started fucking my mouth.

"Does that feel good, babe?" I asked while dipping my tongue into his slit.

"Shit... I'm... I'm gonna... cum." He moaned around me as he continued to thrust his hips.

The tightening formed in my balls, and I could feel the familiar feeling in my stomach. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop my climax from coming now. Trying to move him before I exploded in his mouth, he refused to move and sucked me in tighter. His motions picked up speed. He was moving his mouth faster and faster over my cock. With one final squeeze on my balls, I exploded in his mouth shooting my hot cum down his throat.

My body convulsed as shock wave after shock wave hit my body giving me the best orgasm of my life. He swallowed around me, taking every last drop before giving me one last lick from base to tip. Wanting to give him the same pleasure he gave me, I started moving up and down his cock faster and faster. My hand caressed the skin behind his balls and Jasper opened his legs to give me better access. Putting a little pressure in that spot, I hummed around Jasper's cock as I took him in deep. Jasper froze, and then shot his cum down my throat in spurts. As his orgasm rocked through him, he kept saying my name, over and over. I let him slip from my mouth and gave his tip a soft kiss before looking up at him.

He picked his head up off the bed and gave me the biggest shit eating grin. Man, I was done for.

It was so easy for me to get lost in the heaven that was Jasper, but I had to keep my cool. The last thing I wanted to do was to push Jasper too far, too fast, and have him bolt on me. Once thing I knew was that I wanted to get to know Jasper better, much better. If I had to take one step forward and two steps back to do it, I would.

**A/N 2 So? What did you think? Be sure to let me know!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Wow! I am really amazed at the reviews for this story! I am so glad that you are all enjoying it so much. Big thanks to my girl, OCDJen, for her prereading magic and constant inspiration. Thanks also goes to my beta, JessDS, for making sure my chapters are in top shape.**

**I apologize in advance for the angst in the chapter. It wasn't my intention, but the boys had their own ideas on how they wanted things to go.**

_He picked his head up off the bed and gave me the biggest shit eating grin. Man, I was done for. _

_It was so easy for me to get lost in the heaven that was Jasper, but I had to keep my cool. The last thing I wanted to do was to push Jasper too far, too fast, and have him bolt on me. Once thing I knew was that I wanted to get to know Jasper better, much better. If I had to take one step forward and two steps back to do it, I would. _

Chapter Six

"Wow, Edward. That was amazing." Jasper said while sliding up the bed to lie next to me. "And totally hot, too!"

Laughing, I turned to him and gave him a big kiss. "You are so adorable. You really are, and you are right. That was amazing. Thank you." Leaning forward, I kissed him again.

"You're thanking me? For what?" He asked.

"For trusting me, for allowing me the opportunity to give you pleasure. I know that had to be hard for you after what you went through and I appreciate you trusting me." Kissing him again, I thought about what I had just said. It was true, every word. Jasper had to have been terrified to let himself go with me like that and I truly appreciated that he felt comfortable enough with me to let us do what we did with each other.

He lay there thinking for a moment and a myriad of emotions swept across his face. Finally he spoke. "That's really sweet of you, Edward, to even think like that. If I'm honest, I will admit to being a little afraid, especially when you wanted to touch me at the same time. But, I also realized that you and James are two totally different people. I can't go through my life judging everyone by what he did. So, I decided to take a risk, and I'm happy to say it was one of the best decisions I've ever made!" Throwing himself on me, he gave me another sloppy kiss and then jumped off the bed.

"I don't know about you, Edward. But I'm starved!" He said waltzing out the door in all his naked glory.

Jumping off the bed laughing, I followed him into the kitchen to find the most delectable sight awaiting me. Jasper had the fridge door open and was leaning over looking through it. His ass was pushed up in the air, his legs were spread to give him balance, and it took everything in me not to ram myself against him.

"How are eggs, Edward? I can make a mean omelet." He said turning around with the eggs in his hand. His eyes widened when he caught a glimpse of my erection. "Whoa there, partner. I didn't know eggs had that effect on you or I would have gotten them out sooner." He smirked at me.

My face flooded with embarrassment at being caught like that. "No, Jasper, it wasn't the eggs that did it."

"No? Then what was it?" He asked looking at me questioningly.

Do I tell him or do I lie? Would he freak if he knew I was thinking about his ass like that or what? Jasper kept looking at me expectantly so I knew I had to answer, and I had to tell the truth. Running my hands through my hair, I grinned sheepishly. "Actually, it was the sight of you bent over with your ass in the air all ready and waiting for me that did it."

Jasper's mouth dropped open and the eggs fell to the floor. He gave out a strangled cry and ran from the room.

"Shit!" I yelled running after him. "Jasper, Jasper, wait please!" He reached his door and was just about to slam it closed when I slipped through.

"Leave, Edward, okay, just leave me alone." He said turning his back on me and walking away. His whole body was trembling with the force of his emotions.

"No, Jasper, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong. What did I do?" I asked racking my brain, trying to figure out what I did or said that would cause him to react this way.

"You didn't do anything, Edward." He said in a resigned voice. "It's me, it's my problem. It's always my problem." Sitting down on his bed, he rested his head in his hands.

Kneeling down in front of him, I rested my hands on his legs and shook him to get him to look at me. "Please talk to me. We made such great progress tonight with each other and we were both so happy just a little bit ago. I would hate to see all that go to waste so please talk to me, Jasper." I begged. "Let me know what I did wrong so I know not to do it again."

Jasper peeked at me through his fingers and sighed deeply. "James always treated me like I was just a pretty face, even before the 'incident'. He knew I was smart and funny, but he always made me feel that people, except for him, only liked me for my looks. After the 'incident', he made snide remarks every time I saw him about what I was doing or wearing. Once, I was in the library bending over to get a book, and he said 'I like the sight of you bent over with your ass in the air all ready for me. Just say the word, Jasper' and he laughed and laughed. I turned tail and ran dropping my books along the way. That night I didn't sleep a wink as every time I closed my eyes all I heard was that laughter, over and over again."

Anger boiled up in me at the thought of this guy continuing to torment Jasper after what he did to him. Disgust rose up in me too as I realized I had basically quoted James word for word. Trying to control my anger at James and my disgust with myself, I took a few deep breaths before responding to Jasper. "I'm so sorry that you had to continue to be abused at his hands, Jasper. It must have been horrible to have to see him and go through that. My actions were not meant to hurt you or humiliate you. It's just that you are so damn sexy that my body couldn't help but respond. That doesn't mean I don't respect you as a person with a brain, Jasper. It just means I find you attractive, that's all." I stated truthfully.

"Believe me, Edward, I know that. It's just that your words were so reminiscent of his that I couldn't help but respond to them. His actions hurt me so much that I know it's going to take me a long time to work through it all. I was hoping that a new school, in a new place would wipe all of those bad memories away. Guess I was wrong." He threw himself back on his bed covering his face with his arm.

"It's okay, Jasper, I understand. As long as you know I would never do or say anything to deliberately hurt you." Getting up off the floor, I sat next to him on the bed. Luckily, my erection was now gone so that problem was solved.

Jasper sat up next to me. "I know Edward; I just think that maybe what happened between us was too soon for me. All of these emotions are bubbling to the surface and it's hard for me to handle them, and you. I think we need to take a step back for a bit. Okay? Maybe spend some time apart."

"No, Jasper." I said standing up. "It's not okay. Don't back away from me now. You said you trusted me; well let me help you through this. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. We can do this together." I couldn't let Jasper slip through my fingers now. He was so gun shy that if I let him go, I was never going to get him back.

"Come on, Edward. You said you'd never hurt me, so don't. I don't want your help with this; I want to be left alone. This is something I need to handle by myself otherwise I'll never be able to let it go and move on. And, I really need to move on." He said turning his back on me. Rummaging through his drawer, Jasper pulled out two pairs of boxers. He put one on and threw the other to me. "Put this on. It's hard for me to concentrate with you like that."

Putting the boxers on, I looked up at him. "Don't do this, Jasper. You and I both know that if I walk out that door what we have here is gone and we will never get it back. Please, let me in, let me help you." Standing behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me. "Please, Jasper?" I whispered in his ear.

His body shivered and then he struggled out of my grip. "Get out Edward. Or are you going to force yourself on me just like James did? Are you no better than he is?"

My mouth dropped open in utter shock. After what we had shared I was devastated that Jasper could even think that way about me, never mind say it out loud. I stumbled backwards to reach the door without looking where I was going. My only thought was to get out of there and to my own room before my tears came.

Jasper must have realized that he overstepped the line because he reached his hand out to me as I reached his doorway. "I'm sorry, Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." He said beseechingly.

It was too late for me. He basically just accused me of wanting to rape him, to force him to conform to my will. Me! "Don't worry Jasper. You got your wish. I'll leave you alone."

Running down the hall, I reached my bedroom slamming and locking the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I slid down to the floor and let the tears come. It was stupid to be crying over Jasper, I knew that. I hadn't known him long enough for him to have such an effect on me, but for some reason he did. He burrowed his way into my heart finding a place for himself. The idea that he thought I could do something like that hurt me more than anything. I had been nothing but respectful and considerate to him and yet he turned on me and questioned my character. The last thing I wanted was to be compared to that slimy character, James.

Crawling to my bed, I got under the covers and cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, I remembered the mess of eggs that had lain on the kitchen floor all night. In all of the excitement, I had forgotten about them. Taking a quick shower, I got dressed and headed into the kitchen swallowing the lump that seemed to have formed in my throat.

The kitchen was spotless. There wasn't an egg to be seen. Jasper must have come in and cleaned up while I was locked away in my room. Making myself some coffee, I wondered what to say to him when I saw him next. He had hurt me terribly with his words, and I think he realized that. I didn't want there to be a gulf between us. The camaraderie that we had shared yesterday was what I wanted, but I knew that it was too late for that.

Getting out the cream for my coffee, I heard the front door open, and then footsteps coming down the hall. Looking over the fridge door, I met Jasper's panicked gaze as he set his newspaper down on the table.

Determined to be the bigger guy, I closed the door and turned to him. "Good morning, Jasper. Would you like some coffee?"

"Uh, um, yes, please." He stuttered out while sitting at the table.

Pouring him a cup, I brought it to the table along with the sugar and the cream. Sitting down opposite him, I took a long drink of my coffee and met his terrified gaze.

"It's okay, Jasper. I don't bite." Anger seeped into my voice and laced my words even though I tried hard not to let it.

Jasper pushed his chair back. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea." He said while standing up. "I think I'll take my coffee to my room and leave you alone."

"Go right ahead, Jasper. You don't have to sit with me if you don't want to. I wouldn't want you to feel forced or anything." Damn it, I didn't mean to say that.

Jasper flinched as if I struck him. "I said I was sorry Edward. What more do you want from me?"

"What do I want from you?" I yelled standing up so suddenly that my chair fell back onto the floor. "What I want from you is respect, that's what I want. I haven't done anything to you to cause you to say what you said, to think what you thought, to.." My words dropped off when I took in the look on Jasper's face.

Jasper backed away from me with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "I said I was sorry Edward. I didn't mean it, really. It was said out of fear, not truth."

"Well, it still hurt Jasper. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but we fixed that right away. It hurt that I have been nothing but caring and considerate towards you since then and yet you turned on me in a flash. You took an innocent situation and twisted it into something ugly. You lashed out at me in order to deal with your own pain, and that's not fair, Jasper. It's not fair at all. All I want to do is be with you, to help you." All of a sudden, the fight went out of me. Picking my chair up off the floor, I sat down and put my head on the table. "It's just not fair, Jasper, that I must pay the price for James' mistake."

"You're right, Edward, it's not fair. You shouldn't have to put up with me or my problems. I'll look for a new place to stay Monday." He said walking out of the room.

_A new place to stay? What? _Jumping up from my chair I followed him to his room leaning on the door jam. "What are you talking about a new place to stay? You're leaving?" _No fucking way! _I couldn't let him leave.

He pulled a duffel bag out of his closet and proceeded to pack some of his stuff. "I think it's for the best. You're right; I'm lashing out at you for something that wasn't your fault. You deserve someone better, Edward, someone who doesn't have all of my problems, someone who will appreciate you for the wonderful person that you are." He said as he continued packing.

"Are you crazy?" I huffed while storming into his room. "Jasper, we had a little setback last night, and yes, I'm upset. You said some things that hurt me, that's true, and I didn't deserve them at all. You know this. It might take me a little time to get over it, but I will, eventually."

Jasper continued to pack with out so much as throwing a brief glance in my direction. "I'm not crazy, Edward. Foolish yes, crazy no."

"Foolish, why?" I asked.

"For believing I could have a normal life with friends and maybe something more." He looked at me with such sad eyes as he said that.

"You can have that Jasper, we can have that." I pleaded softly while moving closer to him. "You're not foolish to want that. I want that too." James must have really done a number on him to make him feel this way.

"I don't deserve it, Edward. Look what happened with James. It cost me my friends and my father. After what happened with you last night, it's only a matter of time before you decide that you don't want me either. I'm better off leaving now before one of us gets hurt." He moved to the closet and took out his laptop case and proceeded to pack it up.

"What if one of us is already hurt?" I said softly looking at him. My stomach was in turmoil at the thought of Jasper leaving. How funny was that? Just a few days ago I was ranting about the fact that I had to share my place with someone, and a redneck to boot. Now, I wanted nothing more than to keep Jasper right here, where he belonged.

He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them I could see the tears glistening in them as he gazed at me. "Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, but this is too much for me to handle. The last few days with you have been like a roller coaster ride. Being around you has stirred up emotions in me that I thought I had buried deep within me. I need some time, and space to deal with this. It's really for the best for both of us." He turned around, walked into his bathroom and continued packing his stuff. "I'll go to a motel until Monday."

"Jasper, no! Please stay, this is your place too. I don't want you to feel like you have to leave. I promise you can trust me, I won't do anything you don't want me to do." My voice trembled as I begged him not to leave. A big part of me knew he was right, that I needed to let him go. He needed time to deal with all of the emotions that were coursing through him right now. Yet a bigger part of me knew that if I let him go, he was never coming back. This was a risk I wasn't willing to take. "Please, Jasper, I'm begging you." I pleaded with him in a voice full of desperation and longing.

He made his way back into his room. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be Edward." He said his voice husky with emotion. He threw his bag over his shoulder. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff once they find me a room."

With that he walked out of the door, and out of my life.

**A/N 2: Okay, Okay, I'm running and hiding! Really, it wasn't me, it was THEM! Anyway, let you know what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So sorry for the delay! I've had this chapter ready for over a week but I completely forgot to post it! The kids were off from school this week and we were busy every day! Anyway, big thanks to my prereader, OCDJen, for working on this chapter for me, and to my beta, who asked to remain anonymous as she doesn't write fanfiction. Hope you guys enjoy, and don't hate me too much for the ending!**

_He made his way back into his room. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be Edward." He said his voice husky with emotion. He threw his bag over his shoulder. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff once they find me a room." _

_With that he walked out of the door, and out of my life._

Chapter Seven

Jasper left and I just stood there looking at the closed door. I don't know how long I was standing there before I finally realized he wasn't coming back. Moving into the living room, I plopped down on the couch and covered my face with the pillow. A feeling of deep despair washed over me. How stupid was I? I knew Jasper was on the edge, I knew it wouldn't take much to push him over that edge, and yet that is exactly what I did. In my defense, though, I couldn't help myself. My feelings of hurt and rejection took over and I acted in the heat of the moment causing him to leave.

The thought of losing him filled me with panic and despair. Why? I couldn't tell you. Was it normal to feel so strongly about someone after such a short time together? I didn't think so, but how could I explain my feelings, otherwise? Obviously, Jasper and I had some kind of connection, something that caused us to react to each other in such a strong way. And now, because of my utmost impatience and stupidity, I drove him away.

My cell phone started ringing and I jumped off the couch to grab it. "Jasper?" I practically yelled into the phone.

"No, it's Emmett. What's up?" he asked.

Sighing, I plopped back onto the couch. "Nothing."

"Don't sound so happy to hear from me, man," Emmett said laughing.

"Sorry Em, I was just really hoping you were Jasper, that's all."

"Why, what did you do, Edward?" Emmett asked angrily.

"Me? Why do you assume it's me who has done something? How do you know it wasn't him?" Was he for real? Why was I always made out to be the bad guy?

"Am I right?" he asked again.

"Yes, okay, yes you are right. I was stupid, we had a fight, and he left." God, could I not catch a break anywhere?

"Where did he go?" I could hear the frustration in Emmett's voice.

"No idea. He packed some stuff and said he'd stay somewhere else until he could get a new room assignment on Monday." Fuck! I couldn't believe how badly I screwed things up.

"What the fuck, Edward? What the hell happened?" The anger was front and center in Emmett's voice. Even though he didn't know Jasper's background, he knew he was skittish for a reason. He had a soft spot for him almost from the day they met.

"There's too much to go into over the phone, Em. Why don't you come over?" While I knew that I couldn't tell Emmett the whole story, due to Jasper's confidence, I was hoping that I could tell him enough to enable him to help me.

"Be there in ten." Emmett said, then he hung up.

Throwing my head back on the couch, I tried to prepare myself for Emmett's visit. I knew he was going to rake me over the coals for my behavior. Even though I technically didn't do anything wrong, the fact that I kept pushing knowing Jasper's frame of mind placed me in the wrong. I knew that, but I just couldn't control myself.

Emmett was true to his word. Ten minutes later, he was knocking on my door. When I opened it, he barreled by me, turned around and fixed me with a furious look.

"Okay, spill." he demanded.

Closing the door, I turned to him and waved him into the living room. "Can we sit?" He nodded his head and went and sat on the couch.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked nervously.

"No. What I want is for you to sit down and start talking."

Sighing, I began, "Okay, let me start by saying I can't tell you everything.." Emmett cut me off.

"Don't start, Edward. Don't hide things to protect yourself. Just be honest."

"No, Em, it's not that. It's just that some stuff Jasper told me in confidence and I can't reveal it. I will try to tell you the story the best I can while leaving out the confidential parts." I pleaded with him to understand my dilemma.

"Sorry, Eddie, it's just that I can see how upset you are and I want to help you. Also, Jasper had to be pretty upset himself to just up and leave and want another room." He nodded his head for me to continue speaking.

"I know Em and I appreciate you wanting to help. How about I grab us some beers and then we talk? Okay?" I said getting up from the couch.

"Sounds good." Emmett said relaxing back into the couch.

Grabbing the beers, I went back into the living room and handed one to Emmett. Sitting back down, I debated on where to start and figured the beginning was best.

"Okay, well you know Jasper and I started off on the wrong foot, what with the redneck comment and all," I said feeling the blush creep up my face.

"Yeah, I know. Thought you guys worked that out?" Emmett took a long pull on his beer while looking at me questioningly.

"We did. Then we danced around the issue of our sexuality for a bit." Damn, this blush was not going to go away anytime soon.

"What do you mean?" he asked while giving me a curious look.

"Well, Jasper asked me if I was gay in a kind of round about way and I held off answering him because I wasn't sure how my answer would affect our relationship," I said while playing with the label on my beer bottle.

"Okay, I can understand that, but that still doesn't sound like enough to fight about."

"No, it wasn't. I told him I would answer him if he answered me the same question. You know, tit for tat," I said sheepishly feeling like I was back in high school.

Emmett sighed. "Edward, Edward, Edward, how old are you?" Seeing my beet red face, Emmett continued, "Forget it, I'm assuming he agreed?

"Yes, and to make a very long story short, he shared some confidences with me, and that just brought us so much closer so quickly. Last night, before the party, you did walk in on the beginnings of something." A warm feeling spiked through me as I thought back to the kiss Jasper and I had shared.

"Yeah, I kind of thought so," Emmett said grinning.

"Well, the whole thing with Brad and Julian brought all the emotions to a head, and we kind of came back here and fooled around last night."

"You guys had sex?" he exclaimed as he jumped up off the couch in his excitement.

"No, no, not that! We did, um, other stuff." Could I get any more embarrassed, or excited? All this talk about what Jasper and I did was causing a certain body part to stand up and pay attention. The last thing I needed was to have an erection in front of Emmett. I would never live that one down, ever.

"Oh, okay, no details please," he said sitting back down on the couch.

"Don't worry I won't regale you with details of my exploits. Let me just say that when I woke up this morning, I was the happiest I have ever been in my whole life." And I was. For a short time, I was the happiest guy in the world.

"And Jasper wasn't?" I could hear the concern starting to seep into Emmett's voice.

"He was, but he was torn. That thing he told me about really did a number on him and I think our interactions brought all of those emotions to the surface. I said something, in all innocence, but he took it the wrong way and it went downhill from there."

"Edward, I'm confused. You and Jasper spent a pleasure filled evening together, right?"

"Yes," I answered simply.

"When you got up this morning, you were both happy and okay with what had happened?" I could see by the look on his face that he was very confused

"Absolutely," I said adamantly, "We both were."

"Okay, bear with me here, I'm trying to understand." He was really trying to understand, and I knew it was hard for him not knowing what had happened, but I couldn't break Jasper's confidence.

"I know Em, I'm following you."

"Right, okay, so something happened to burst the little pleasure bubble you guys were in?" I couldn't help but let out a snort at Emmett's words.

"Yes, I guess that describes it pretty well."

"What was it? What happened?" Emmett asked earnestly.

"Here is where it gets tricky, Em. I can't tell you exactly because it would mean breaking the promise I gave Jasper to keep what we talked about in confidence. I'll try to explain it the best that I can."

"Okay, Eddie, I'm listening."

"We were really happy, I mean really happy. It was like something beautiful was in the room with us you know. We were giddy, like two teenagers after a first date." I smiled and shook my head remembering Jasper jumping off the bed stark naked and heading for the kitchen.

"Gotcha." Emmett was hanging on my every word trying to figure out where it all went wrong for me.

"We came into the kitchen to eat something, and I responded to a question Jasper asked me, and the shit hit the fan." That was the easiest way to explain it without divulging too much information.

"Why?" Emmett said chugging the last of his beer.

"Apparently what I said reminded him of the incident he told me about and it caused all these long buried feelings to resurface. It was just too much for him and he lashed out at me and I went back at him and it ended with him leaving."

"I can see how that would happen. It's so easy for a misunderstanding to grow into something bigger. That's what happened with Rose and me. I'm still hoping that she'll see the light and let me make it up to her." Emmett went into the kitchen and came back with two more beers for us.

Rosalie was Emmett's ex girlfriend. They had met in freshman year of high school and were inseparable ever since. Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding in senior year, they had broken up but Emmett had never given up hope that they would get back together. He truly believed that he and Rosalie were soul mates, meant to be together. I wish I had his kind of confidence when it came to Jasper, but I didn't.

"I don't think you can compare you and Rose with me and Jasper. First of all, you guys were together for four years before you split. You had a history with each other, Jasper and I don't. Second of all, you guys were in love with plans for a future. Jasper and I had one night together, that's it. Lastly, you and Rose don't have a lot of baggage bringing you down. Jasper and I do. I just don't see it working out Em and I'm worried." Placing my beer on the table, I put my head in my hands.

"He left, Em. I begged him to stay, and he left. He doesn't want to work things out with me. He left and he's not looking back."

"Don't say that Edward," Emmett said moving to sit next to me on the couch. "Maybe he just needs some time to calm down that's all."

"No, that's not it. He said he's finding a new room assignment Monday. He plans to leave for good. I knew once he walked out that door that it was over. It's stupid, I know, to be so upset over some guy I've known for what, a week?" I shook my head.

"Eddie, man, we can't control our hearts and how they feel. You know how I feel about Rose. I'd do anything for her," Emmett said truthfully.

"I know, Em, I can't help it though. I feel like there's an empty space in me somewhere and Jasper's the only one that can fill it." Finally admitting defeat, I sighed and turned to Emmett.

"I think I need to be alone for a bit if you don't mind going?" I asked.

"Sure, Eddie, whatever you want. I just feel bad for you man and I wish that there was something I could do to help you out." Emmett said sincerely, "Hey, you want me to try to find Jasper and talk to him?"

"Thanks for the offer, Em, and I appreciate it but there really isn't anything anyone can do for me. Jasper and I need to work this out on our own, if we can," I said while heading for the door. "I just need to sleep on it and see what happens next."

"Che sera, sera, huh?" Emmett joked.

"Something like that, yeah," I said smiling at him. Emmett was a good friend, the best a guy could have, and I was lucky to have him.

"Okay, Eddie," Emmett said as he left, "I'll call you later to see how you're doing, okay?"

Nodding my agreement, I closed the door behind him resting my head against the door. Exhaustion washed over me as the events of the day took their toll on me. I needed to lie down and rest before I crashed. Heading to my bedroom, I laid down to rest for just a bit to try to get my mind off of Jasper and this whole situation that we found ourselves in. I must have really been exhausted, because the next thing I knew, it was three hours later and my phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I said in a husky voice.

""Eddie man, did I wake you?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, but that's okay. I had to get up. I didn't realize how late it was." Getting up off the bed, I stretched out my back.

"The guys and I are going to grab some dinner and shoot some pool. Want to come?"

"No, I think I'll pass." I said sighing.

"You should come out; it would be good for you to get out of your apartment. You've been cooped up in there all day," Emmett stated.

"I know, but I just don't have the inclination to go out and make conversation right now. All I want to do is sit on the couch and wallow in my self pity." This is exactly what I was currently doing.

"Okay, Edward, if you're sure." Emmett said resignedly.

"I am Emmett, but thanks," I said truthfully.

After I hung up, I made something to eat and plopped myself in front of the TV. After flipping through the channels without finding something to watch, I put in my all time favorite movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life". Sad, yes, and probably not what I needed right now, but the ending was a happy one and would definitely lift my spirits.

My favorite part of this movie was towards the end when George realizes just how horrible everyone else's lives were without him around. It made me realize just how important we all are to others around us. Even if we don't realize it, our lives impact a lot more people than we are aware of. I had a big smile on my face for the remainder of the movie as George returned home and found his family and friends had gone above and beyond to help him. The look on his face when his little brother came into the room brought the biggest smile to my face and filled me with hope. Hope that things with Jasper and me could have a happy ending if I just believed in it hard enough.

Realizing that I was being a tad melodramatic about the whole thing, I shook my head and laughed at myself. Things with Jasper and I would only get better if we worked on it together and since he left, that wasn't likely to happen. Sighing, I jumped out of my skin when the phone rang startling me out of my thoughts.

"I'm fine Emmett. You don't need to keep checking up on me every 5 minutes," I said laughing into the phone.

"Edward?" A raspy voice choked out.

"Jasper? Is that you?" My heart started beating widely in my chest. He was calling me!

"Edward, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he slurred.

"Jasper, are you drunk?" I asked.

"Drunk, among other things," he laughed and then he started coughing heavily. It sounded like he couldn't catch his breath.

"Where are you Jasper? You don't sound so good." I was starting to get worried.

"Don't worry about me Edward. No one will miss me when I'm gone, not even you." His slurring was getting worse as my panic increased.

"What are you saying Jasper? You better not plan on hurting yourself or I'm going to be very angry with you," I said while putting on my shoes and coat. I had to find him even if it meant checking all the motels in town.

"Nah, I don't plan on offing myself just yet, Edward. I just needed to forget things for a little bit so I had a little too much to drink, and took one or two of my sleeping pills. I figured I'd just pass out and not have to worry about my feelings for a while, you know?" he said slurring even more.

"Yeah, I know what you mean Jasper, but mixing pills and alcohol is never a good idea. Please tell me where you are so I can come and make sure you're okay." I was already getting in my car, and all I needed was for him to tell me where to go.

"No, Edward, it's not your problem, I'm not your problem anymore. I'm no one's problem." he slurred while sighing.

"You're not a problem Jasper. I just need to see you and make sure you are okay so please tell me where you are," I begged.

"You are such a do gooder Edward. I bet you always go for the underdogs don't you?" he laughed.

"Jasper..please," I begged. I was really getting worried now.

"Okay, I'm at the Motel 6 on Route 35, Room 216, and hurry," he said pleadingly.

"I'm coming Jasper, I'm on my way." I promised him as I started the engine and sped out of the parking lot.

**A/N2: I know, I know! The ending is bad! I've already been reprimanded by OCDJen and my beta. I will tell you that I am already 2k into the next chapter and hope to have it out within the next week. That's good, right?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey there! So sorry for the delay in posting this especially since I did promise you guys a quick turnaround. Unfortunately, real life has been crazy for both me, and my prereader, OCDJen. Anyway, big thanks to my prereader, OCDJen, for fitting this into her busy schedule for me and working her magic on my words. This chapter is not beta'd as my beta had to remove herself from fanfic for a bit. All mistakes belong to me – sorry!**

"_No, Edward, it's not your problem, I'm not your problem anymore. I'm no one's problem." he slurred while sighing. _

"_You're not a problem Jasper. I just need to see you and make sure you are okay so please tell me where you are," I begged._

"_You are such a do gooder Edward. I bet you always go for the underdogs don't you?" he laughed._

"_Jasper..please," I begged. I was really getting worried now._

"_Okay, I'm at the Motel 6 on Route 35, Room 216, and hurry," he said pleadingly._

"_I'm coming Jasper, I'm on my way." I promised him as I started the engine and sped out of the parking lot. _

Chapter Eight

"Keep talking to me Jasper, okay?" I asked him, while trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"What do you want me to talk about, Edward?" he asked still slurring his words.

"Anything at all Jasper, just talk to me about anything. Tell me about your day," I suggested.

"My day?" he snickered, "You want to hear about my day? I think you know what happened today, Edward or did you forget already?" he said facetiously.

"No, I didn't forget. I meant tell me what happened after you left me," I clarified.

"After I left you, right, okay well I drove downtown, got a room at the Motel 6, got some liquor, and proceeded to get drunk. Oh, then I called you," he said laughing.

"Have you had anything to eat since this morning?" I said while pulling into a McDonald's drive thru.

"Nah, not hungry," he slurred out.

"I'm going to pick up some food for us. You want anything in particular?" I asked.

"No, I told you I'm not hungry!" he yelled. I could hear the anger in his voice. I was hoping that Jasper was not a belligerent drunk as I really didn't feel like fighting with him. It seemed to me that getting some food in him was definitely a good idea.

"I'm getting something whether you want it or not. Hold on." I placed my order, paid, and drove up to the window to pick up our food. The whole time, Jasper was singing in the background. I had no clue what song he was singing, but it made me smile anyway.

After getting the order, I pulled back onto the highway and made my way to the Motel 6 which was just a few blocks up. As I was driving I realized something, if anything happened to him, I would never forgive myself as I completely blamed myself for everything that happened today. Even though a small part of me knew this wasn't necessarily true, the part that felt that it was my fault was definitely bigger and certainly more overpowering. Trying to shake the morbid mood that came over me, I tried to concentrate on Jasper's singing instead.

"Jasper, what are you singing?" I asked chuckling.

"Oh, nothing, it's just a song my dad used to sing to me when I was little. Huh, guess I'll never hear him sing that again will I?" he said as his voice broke on the last few words.

"Jasper, don't say that. You don't know what the future will bring. Maybe things will work out, maybe not." I tried to be positive for Jasper's sake.

"No, there's no hope there Edward. I'm gonna go now, okay? Don't feel like talking anymore," he said sadly.

"Don't hang up Jasper; I'm pulling into the lot right now. Meet me at the door, okay. What room are you in again?" I asked. Of course I remembered the room he was in but I was just trying to keep him on the phone as long as I could. Pulling into a spot, I shut off the car, grabbed the food, and headed for Jasper's door.

"Room 216, Edward. Don't worry about me, I'm not your problem," he slurred out. "I'm really hanging up now, Edward," he said and I heard the telltale click of the phone flipping closed.

While the small part of me that knew that I had no control over Jasper's actions and was trying to tell me that the things that happened in the past were not of my doing, I still felt bad for adding to his problems with what happened today. Right now all I was concerned with was getting to his room as quickly as possible. My hope was that he was okay, and just a little groggy. Worst case scenario, he was passed out from the combination of pills and alcohol and I could revive him when I got there. This is what I had to believe as the alternative was too upsetting to even think about.

Running up stairs and down the hall, I reached Jasper's door and started banging on it. "Open up Jasper, it's me, Edward."

When there was no answer, I banged a few more times, and then tried the knob. The knob turned, so I pushed the door open and was met with the sight of a naked Jasper sprawled out on the bed, passed out.

Closing and locking the door, I put the food down on the little table by the door, and ran over to Jasper.

"Jasper, Jasper, wake up!" I yelled while shaking him. When there was no response, I lifted his shoulders off the bed and shook him some more. "Jasper!" I yelled, "Wake up!"

His eyelids fluttered and his eyes opened blearily. "Edward? Is that you?" he slurred out.

"Yes, Jasper, it's me. Wake up now, okay?" I begged.

"Hmm, what a nice dream now that you're in it Edward," he said closing his eyes again.

"No, no, no!" I yelled again. "Do not go back to sleep. It's not a dream Jasper, I'm really here. Wake up."

Opening his eyes again, I could see the struggle it took for him to focus on me. "Edward," he said reaching his hand up to touch my face. "You really are here."

"Yes, Jasper, I am. Please stay awake with me, okay?" I begged.

"So hard," he said as his eyes slipped closed again. "Can't keep my eyes open. I'm trying."

Realizing I needed to take drastic action to wake Jasper up, I dragged him off the bed and into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I didn't even let the water warm up before I put him under the spray.

"Edward," Jasper spluttered, "What the fuck is going on? This water is freezing!" Jasper struggled against me to get out of the tub, soaking me in the process.

"No, Jasper, you have to stay in there until you're completely awake, please."

"I can't Edward, the water is freezing and I feel like I'm going to be sick." With that, he proceeded to fall to his knees and vomit into the tub, retching until there was nothing coming out but dry heaves.

"Oh, Jasper, come here," I said pulling him out of the tub. "Let's get you warm and dry, okay?"

Leaving the shower running to clean to tub, I handed him a towel and told him to dry himself while I grabbed another towel and wrapped it around his waist keeping my eyes away from his cock the whole time. This was not time to get distracted by that. I didn't want Jasper to think I was perving on him while he was under duress. When I was satisfied that he could handle himself, I directed him to finish drying himself off and I headed into the other room to grab him some clothes. Handing him the clothes through the door, I sat on the edge of the bed to wait for him to come out.

"Edward?" Jasper said in a raspy voice.

Jumping off of the bed, I ran over to him. "Yeah, Jasper? Are you okay?"

"Better now," he responded. "I didn't know if I should shut off the shower or not."

"You go sit at the table, Jasper. I'll take care of it," I said. Heading into the bathroom, I shut off the shower and hung up all the wet towels. When I finally made my way back into the bedroom, I found Jasper sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

"Jasper?" I said worriedly.

"I'm fine, Edward, just have a headache and I think I'm still drunk," he said lifting his head up and looking at me. I was floored by the pain I saw on his face. "I'm really sorry about all of this Edward. You don't need to be dragged into my problems."

"Are you kidding me Jasper? I'm here for you, you know that. How many times do I have to tell you that?" I said while kneeling at his feet. "I'm sorry that my behavior caused you to leave. This is all my fault."

Jasper gripped my face in his hands and pulled it up so I had no choice but to look at him. "This is not your fault, Edward. What happened today was as a result of my incidence with James, not you. Apparently I haven't been as good at dealing with my feelings as I thought. I really thought I was getting over things, but after today I realize that I'm not, and that maybe I need to go back to therapy again. This time, though, it'll be someone of my own choosing, not my father's."

"Whatever you need, Jasper. I am here for you." I said placing my hands over his. We spent a long moment looking at each other searching for something. I don't think either one of us found what we were looking for before Jasper ended the moment by speaking.

"So, where is this food you were picking up? Suddenly, I'm starving!" he said, letting go of my face and turning to look on the table. I stayed there for a minute, on my knees, just relishing in the last remnants of the heat on my face left by his hand. At this point in time, I didn't know if there would ever be anything more between Jasper and me other than friendship, but I knew that I had to be here for him no matter what regardless of how bad it made me feel.

"You hungry, Edward, or is all this for me?" Turning to look at him, I smiled and got up off the floor.

"Save some for me you prat, I'm hungry too." Sitting across from him, we ate our meal in silence, without looking at each other once. While I knew that Jasper was probably feeling a little shy and embarrassed because of what happened, I was a little hurt that he seemed to be ignoring me now that the danger had passed. Feeling this way was irrational, I knew, and I was trying my best not to let it affect how I acted towards him. Part of me was so angry at him for doing this to himself, and the other part was angry at myself for not being able to stop it.

"Hey, Edward," Jasper said jarring me away form my thoughts. "I just realized you are soaking wet. Why don't you change into some of my clothes?"

"That's okay. I'm going to head home now anyway and I'll just change when I get there." I said, cleaning up the remains of my dinner.

"Oh, you're leaving?" Jasper asked, sounding a little disappointed.

"Well, I figured I should now that you are okay and all. I mean, you left because you wanted some space, so I'm trying to give it to you." And I was, even though leaving was the last thing really I wanted to be doing.

"I know that's what I said earlier, but I didn't really mean it," he whispered out. "The reason I ran out was because I was so embarrassed about what happened and how I reacted. I figured it was better for me to leave before you threw me out so that I could at least control the situation. So much of my life has been controlled by others and I just wanted to take back a semblance of control for myself."

"Let me get this straight, you didn't leave to get away from me, you left because you thought I would ask you to? Or, worse yet, tell you to?" I asked incredulously.

"Something like that, yeah," Jasper whispered.

"Jasper, man," I said reaching across the table to grab his hands in mine. "I meant it when I said I was here for you. I would never ask you to leave and I'm sorry if my actions made you think that I would. The thought never entered my mind and I mean it when I say I want you to stay with me and let me help you work this out."

Jasper looked at me for a moment and I could see a little flicker of hope in his eyes. "If you really mean that Edward, then I'll come back with you and stay with you while I work things out."

Smiling, I said, "Of course I mean it Jasper. Please trust me."

"I do, Edward," Jasper said smiling, "For the first time in a long time, I actually feel like I can trust someone and I can't tell you how good that makes me feel." Suddenly, his smile turned into a grimace and he clutched at his stomach.

"Jasper?"

"For some reason I think that delicious dinner is going to make an appearance," he said getting up and running into the bathroom. Even with the door closed, I could hear him retching. While I felt bad for him, it was probably for the best as his body needed to purge the drugs and alcohol from his system.

When he finally emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, he looked wiped out.

"Jasper, I think you need to drink some water and go to sleep. Come on." Grabbing his hand, I led him over to the bed and helped him get comfortable. Grabbing a glass of water from the bathroom, I gave him to him and made sure he drank the whole thing. Refilling the glass, I put it on the table next to him.

"I'm going go now, but I'll be back bright and early in the morning to pick you up," I said while tucking the covers more tightly around him.

"No, Edward, don't go. Please, stay with me tonight and I'll come back with you tomorrow," he begged, grabbing on to my arm and pulling me on to the bed.

"Jasper, no, my clothes are wet. I really need to change."

"Put on something of mine, please Edward, please?"

Looking at him lying there on the bed, he looked so pitiful that I couldn't refuse him. Staying with him wasn't the smartest thing to do especially considering his condition, but I couldn't say no to him when he was looking at me like that.

"Okay, Jasper, I'll stay." Pulling my hand out of his grip, I peeled off my shirt and pants and grabbed a pair of Jasper's sweatpants from his bag and put them on. As I slid into bed next to Jasper, he shut of the bedside lamp and turned towards me.

"Thanks Edward for being here for me. It means so much to me that I can depend on you. It's been so long since I've been able to depend on anyone. It feels good," he said as he snuggled into my side putting his arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder.

"It's okay Jasper, I don't want to be anywhere else but here," I said wrapping my arm around him and pulling him tight against me. As I lay there feeling Jasper's heart beat against my chest and listening to him breathe, I couldn't help but think of a line from my mom's favorite movie, "tomorrow is another day," and it was, for both Jasper and me. Closing my eyes, I went to sleep thinking of what tomorrow would bring for the both of us.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know I've been fail with updates and review replies. Once tax season is over I hope to have a little more free time on my hands. Thanks to my prereader, OCDJen, for putting her spin on things, and to my beta, Ealasaid77, for dealing with the horror of g'docs to fix my chapter. I couldn't get these chapters out without them.**

"_Thanks Edward for being here for me. It means so much to me that I can depend on you. It's been so long since I've been able to depend on anyone. It feels good," he said as he snuggled into my side putting his arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder._

"_It's okay Jasper, I don't want to be anywhere else but here," I said wrapping my arm around him and pulling him tight against me. As I lay there feeling Jasper's heart beat against my chest and listening to him breathe, I couldn't help but think of a line from my mom's favorite movie, "tomorrow is another day," and it was, for both Jasper and me. Closing my eyes, I went to sleep thinking of what tomorrow would bring for the both of us._

Chapter Nine

As I rose into consciousness, I had the distinct feeling that I was being stared at, so I fought to wake up. Opening my eyes, I could see Jasper sitting on the chair across the room watching me.

"Hey," I mumbled in a sleepy voice. "You're up."

"Yeah, I am, thanks to you," Jasper replied sheepishly. "I'm so sorry, Edward, for everything that happened yesterday and for making you come over here and find me like that and…."

"Whoa, Jasper, take a breath," I said, cutting him off. "It's okay, really. You don't need to apologize to me about anything, please. I'm just glad that I was able to be here for you, that's all." Scooting to the edge of the bed, I grabbed Jasper's hands in mine and squeezed them tightly.

"Remember what you said last night?" I inquired of him.

"Yeah, I remember some of it . What part do you mean exactly?" he asked.

"All of it. The part about you coming home with me today? And the part about realizing you can trust me and depend on me. Do you remember that? " I demanded to know.

"Yeah, I remember. I meant all of it too, you know, " he responded nervously.

"Good. Let's get our stuff together and go home. We need to talk some more, but I'd rather do it there, okay?" I wanted to get out of this place and leave all of the bad memories behind us. Jasper and I were going to start fresh and I wanted to do it at home, at our place.

"Yeah, Edward, let's go home," he said smiling at me.

It took us about an hour to get all Jasper's stuff together and clean everything up. I waited in the car while he checked out, and then we headed back to the dorms.

The drive was a silent one as I really wasn't sure what to say, and Jasper kept his head turned away from me by looking out of the window. Figuring he was embarrassed about what had happened, I didn't want to push him into having a conversation he might not be ready to have.

As we pulled up in front of our building, Jasper finally spoke. "Edward, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure I can, Jasper. What?" He had to know that I would do just about anything for him.

"Could we not tell anybody about what happened last night? I'm kind of embarrassed about it and I'd rather keep it just between us if that's okay with you?" he questioned me hesitantly.

"Sure, Jasper, I understand. No one needs to know but us. Although, Emmett does know that you ran out on me last night," I told him honestly as I shut off the car.

"He does? How?" I could hear the fear in his voice as he asked me those questions.

"Well, he called and came over after you left and he could see how upset I was, so I told him that we had fought and that you left," I answered truthfully.

"You didn't tell him why we fought did you?" he demanded angrily.

"No, Jasper, never! I promised you I wouldn't say anything and I didn't, but Emmett knows I have feelings for you. All I told him was that I pushed the envelope a little too far and drove you away. Your secret is safe with me, Jasper." How many more times did I have to assure him that he could trust me?

Jasper sighed as his anger slipped away, "Thanks Edward, I'm sorry for doubting you . All the more reason to apologize to you, I guess," he responded sheepishly.

"No more apologies, Jasper. What happened happened and we've put it behind us . We are starting with a clean slate today and from here on in we are going to work together to deal with this, got it?"

Smiling Jasper said, "Yeah, I got it. Let's get upstairs and eat something because I am starving!"

Laughing, I locked the car and followed Jasper up to our place. It felt good to say our place again. Last night made me realize how much Jasper had come to mean to me in such a short time, and while I knew that we might not end up together romantically, I did still want us to be friends.

Heading into the kitchen, I started making breakfast while Jasper unpacked all of his stuff . He came in just as I started plating the food.

"Everything smells good," he stated after taking a deep breath

"Thanks. Hope it tastes as good as it smells," I laughed.

Breakfast consisted of bacon, mushroom, cheese omelets and of course, coffee. Nothing too spectacular, but it hit the spot. Both of us were quiet, though, as we concentrated on our meals. After about ten minutes, Jasper spoke.

"Look Edward, I want you to know I was serious about what I said last night. In the past my therapy wasn't successful because I was still too angry about what had happened and I wasn't able to admit that I needed help. Now, I'm willing to let go of the anger and try to work on things. I'm not afraid to ask for help and admit that I can't do it on my own."

"That's great, Jasper, I'm really proud of you. But what's different this time?" If he was still hanging on to his anger, his therapy wasn't going to be any more helpful this time than it was in the past. The last thing I wanted was to get deeper involved emotionally and have Jasper back away from me again.

"I didn't have any incentive last time, but I do now," he stated happily.

"What's your incentive? What's driving you to try again?" I had to know so I could make sure he was triumphant this time around, and there was a small glimmer of hope that he felt something for me like I did him.

"You are. You're my incentive, Edward. Before last night, I saw a glimpse of what a normal, healthy relationship could be like and I want that so badly, and I want it with you." Reaching across the table, he grabbed my hand.

"Do you want that with me, Edward?" he asked solemnly.

Squeezing his hand, I replied, "Yes Jasper, I do."

We sat there smiling at each other until someone knocked on the door shocking us out of our reverie.

"Yo, Eddie, open up!" Emmett bellowed through the door.

Jumping up from the table, I opened the door for Emmett and waved him in before he woke up the entire floor.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay, buddy. You were pretty out of sorts last night and..." Emmett stopped talking as he spotted Jasper sitting in the kitchen. "Hey Jasper, you're back."

"Yeah, I came to my senses and came back here this morning," Jasper responded.

I noticed he left out all mention of me finding him last night and spending the night with him, so I let it slide. That was his story to tell, and if he wasn't comfortable with Emmett knowing it, than so be it.

"Good. Now I don't have to kick your ass for upsetting my boy Eddie here, and, I don't have to kick his for pulling whatever shit he pulled that caused you to leave," Emmett explained.

"It wasn't his fault, Emmett, it was all me!" Jasper exclaimed.

"No, Jasper, I'm just as much to blame as you are." And I was, I knew that and he knew it too.

"Listen, you boys can continue to blame yourselves all day long if you want, but if I'm going to be subjected to it can you at least feed me something?" Emmett begged.

"Sure, Em, have a seat and I'll whip you up an omelet." Laughing, I busied myself cooking, while Emmett poured himself a cup of coffee and settled in at the table.

"So does this mean everything is okay with you guys, or what?" Emmett questioned both of us.

"Yes, Emmett, it does. I t really is all my fault. Edward was just trying to help me out and I overreacted," Jasper stated calmly

"Jasper…" I said warningly.

"It's true, Edward, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Listen, Emmett, I know you are worried about Edward and I don't blame you, but please believe me when I say that I will never deliberately hurt Edward again," Jasper stated seriously.

"Okay, man, I believe you. Everyone deserves a second chance and since you were willing to give Edward one after he said those not so nice things about you in the beginning, I guess I can give you a second chance now," Emmett mumbled in between bites of his omelet.

"Thanks, Emmett, I promise you won't be disappointed in me," Jasper assured him.

"Cool. Eddie, man, this omelet is delicious! I need to come eat over more often!"

"Anytime, Emmett, just warn me first so I can make sure I have enough food," I told him jokingly.

Pushing away his plate, Emmett stood up from the table. "All right, I'm out of here."

"You don't have to eat and run, Em, you can hang for a while if you want," I mentioned casually, hoping Jasper didn't mind me inviting him.

"Nah, that's okay, I only stopped to make sure you were okay, and you are. My job here is done." Taking a last sip of his coffee, he put his cup down and headed for the door. "Bye, Eddie. Bye, Jasper. I'll catch you guys later."

"Wow, Emmett's like a whirlwind, isn't he?" Jasper laughed as he helped me bring the dishes to the sink.

"He sure is. Thanks for defending me like that Jasper ,but you really didn't have to. You know I'm willing to take responsibility for my part in what happened."

"I know that, and I appreciate it immensely. That's the reason I defended you to Emmett. It's such a warm feeling for me to know that I have someone I can trust and depend on. I t's been such a long time since I've been able to let down my guard and just relax. T hat's all due to you, Edward, and your faith in me." Reaching over, he caressed my cheek with his hand. "No matter what happens in the future, I will always remember you and what you've done for me."

Grabbing his hand, I pulled it down to my lips and kissed it. "The same goes for me, Jasper, since I will always remember you, too."

"Enough of this seriousness!" he yelled playfully. "How about we put in a movie and just chill? If I'm going to start looking for a therapist tomorrow, today will be my last day off and I plan to enjoy it with you."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. You go pick the movie out and set everything up, and I'll finish cleaning up in here."

Finally letting go of my hand, Jasper gave me one last smile and made his way into the living room as I cleaned up the breakfast dishes. My mind was running a mile a minute and all of the thoughts and feelings that were crashing through me were very confusing. On one hand, I wanted nothing more than to pull Jasper across the table and kiss his delectable lips, but on the other, I knew that he, nor our relationship, was ready for that. All I could hope for was that I would be able to control myself and my actions and that I didn't do anything to drive Jasper away.

"Are you coming in here soon, Edward? Everything is ready," J asper called from the living room.

"Yeah, Jazz, coming now," I said as I gave the counter one last swipe. There was no more time to delay the inevitable, I was just going to have to keep myself under control and let Jasper make all the moves, if any.

"What are we watching?" I inquired as I plopped myself next to Jasper on the couch.

"I felt like watching 'Die Hard' for some reason. That okay with you?" he questioned me hesitantly.

"Sure, that's one of my favorites," I responded smiling at him. "I just love Bruce Willis in this."

Settling in on the couch, I quickly became engrossed in the movie as it was action packed and moved at such a fast pace. I was so into it that I jumped a little when I felt Jasper scoot over to be closer to me.

'Do you mind?" he asked turning to face me.

"No, not at all though I must admit, I'm a little surprised. I wasn't sure if you would be ready for any kind of contact between us," I commented.

"Well, I'm not really ready for anything, but I did just want to be close to you. You make me feel safe and I know I've said this before, but it's been a long time since I felt that way about anybody," he stated seriously.

Reaching for his hand, I held it in mine and rubbed small circles on his palm. Jasper's skin was so soft and warm, and his hand fit in mine perfectly. Sighing, I looked up at him. "Jasper, I can't tell you how warm inside it makes me feel to hear you say that. A ll I can hope for is that your faith in me is not misplaced. I do promise to do everything I can to help you with your therapy and I will always be here for you for as long as you need me."

Jasper's smile was so big that I could see his dimples. "Thanks, man, that means so much to me. I promise you that I will do my very best with my therapy this time. With you by my side, I just know I can beat this thing. We can beat it, together."

"Together," I said smiling back at him.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Finally an update! Thanks to everyone for sticking with this story. Big thanks to my pre reader, OCDJen, and my beta, Ealasaid77, for working their magic on this story. Even with their very busy lives, they both manage to fit me in and I am forever grateful! Just a warning, this chapter might be a little hard to read due to some emotional issues that Jasper deals with.**

_Reaching for his hand, I held it in mine and rubbed small circles on his palm. Jasper's skin was so soft and warm, and his hand fit in mine perfectly. Sighing, I looked up at him. "Jasper, I can't tell you how warm inside it makes me feel to hear you say that. All I can hope for is that your faith in me is not misplaced. I do promise to do everything I can to help you with your therapy and I will always be here for you for as long as you need me."_

_Jasper's smile was so big that I could see his dimples. "Thanks, man, that means so much to me. I promise you that I will do my very best with my therapy this time. With you by my side, I just know I can beat this thing. We can beat it, together."_

"_Together," I said smiling back at him._

Chapter 10

Sunday had continued in the same vein in which it started. We remained on the couch all day watching all the 'Die Hard' movies. The only time we moved was when we needed to grab something to eat, or to take a bathroom break.

When it was time for bed, Jasper gave me a big hug and thanked me again for being there for him. I told him it was the least I could do, and that I would be there for him for as long as he wanted me.

Monday morning came way too quickly, and Jasper and I went our separate ways. He headed to the Student Medical Center to make an appointment, and I made my way to class. Classes dragged by and I was finding it hard to concentrate. My thoughts kept turning to Jasper, and whether or not he had been successful in obtaining an appointment with a therapist. He was supposed to text me as soon as he was done, and yet two hours had gone by without a word. While I knew it was foolish to worry about something I had no control over, I couldn't help it. After what had just happened with Jasper, I was going to be walking on eggshells around him. The last thing I wanted was to set him off on another downward spiral.

Just as I was heading into the student union for lunch, my phone started ringing, flashing up Jasper's name. "Hey there! What's going on?"

"Hey, Edward, everything is good," Jasper answered.

"Well, what took you so long to call? I was starting to get worried," I said.

"It's kind of a long story. Where are you now?" he asked.

"Heading into the Union for lunch. What about you?" I replied as I dodged the students coming out of the building.

"I'm on my way there now. Grab a table and I'll see you in a few," he replied before hanging up the phone.

Heading inside, I grabbed a table and sat down to wait for Jasper. About five minutes went by before I saw him enter the room. Motioning him over, I started on him as soon as he sat down.

"So, what happened? You didn't call and I was worried about you," I gushed out.

"Sorry, Edward. The time just got away from me, and then I had to get to class. It wasn't my intention to worry you," he explained sheepishly.

"I know that, Jasper, and I'm sorry for being a pest. Just can't help myself, I guess. Anyway, tell me what's going on." I really wanted to know what happened so I backed off and let Jasper continue at his own pace.

"It's okay, Edward, I understand, and I appreciate you being concerned for me. It's been a while since anyone has cared," he murmured looking down at his hands.

"That's not true, Jasper. Your mom cares about you, and you know that. As for your dad, I'm sure deep down he cares. He just can't come to terms with your sexuality, that's all." Considering the alternative, I hoped to hell I was right.

"Always the optimist, huh?" he joked.

"Well, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so yeah, guess I am an optimist. What of it?" I demanded while chuckling at him.

"Nothing, just nice to see is all. Back to my news, I did go to the Medical Center this morning, and I was very lucky. When I let them know why I was there, they told me one of the doctors had a cancellation that morning if I wanted to take it, so I did. Lucky for me, my classes started late today," he stated happily.

"Wait, so you actually had a session today? Is that what you are saying?" This was great!

"Yes, that is what I am saying," he mumbled while nodding his head.

"Wow, Jasper, that's great! How was it, if you don't mind me asking?" While I didn't want to push, I did want to know how it affected him.

"No, I don't mind at all. It was okay. Good, I guess, but a little uncomfortable," he replied while shrugging his shoulders.

"Can't even imagine how hard it must be to talk about what happened to you." Shifting in my seat, I tried to get him to look at me to no avail.

"We really didn't get into that today. All we touched on really is the fact that I felt I needed to speak with someone as I was having a hard time dealing with certain issues from my past. Gave a little bit of background, but just the basics. We'll ease into it slowly I hope. Not quite ready to bare all, if you know what I mean," he chuckled nervously.

"Sure do, but I have to say I'm really proud of you, Jasper," I said smiling. "You took a really big step today, and even though it had to be really terrifying, you still did it."

"Thanks, Edward, I promised you I would do this, and I will. I want to get help, Edward, I want to have a normal life and maybe a future, with you," he explained reaching his hand across the table.

Putting my hand in his, I squeezed it tightly. "It'll all work out, Jasper, you'll see. You just need to have a little faith."

"Because of you, I do have faith, but I also have hunger so can we please eat?" he pleaded.

Laughing, I pulled him up from the table. "We most certainly can, tough guy. Let's go."

The rest of the week passed in a relatively quiet manner. Jasper had his second session with the therapist and it had gone well. They hadn't touched on anything of any importance yet, but he already felt lighter just being able to talk about things.

Our friendship became stronger, too, as the week went on. We spent all of our free time together, talking, doing homework, eating, and watching movies. It was really great. I was happy and Jasper was happy. That's all that mattered for now.

About a month later, Jasper came home from his therapy session extremely upset. He stormed in the front door, threw his bag on the floor and headed to his room, slamming the door behind him.

I was at a crossroads, as I didn't know what to do. In the past, after Jasper's sessions, we had always sat down and talked about it. He didn't always give me details about what was said, but he would tell me how he felt after each session and any changes he was experiencing as a result of his therapy. Up until now, everything had been positive.

Deciding I was just going to have to bite the bullet, I made my way over to Jasper's door and knocked. "Hey, Jasper, everything okay?" I asked leaning on the door.

"No, Edward, it's not," he yelled through the door.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe that will help," I offered.

The door whipped open causing me to jump back. Jasper stood there, hair messed up, eyes red, and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Talk about it? Do I want to talk about it?" he screamed at me. "No, Edward, I don't want to fucking talk about it! It was talking about it that got me into this mess to begin with."

"Whoa, Jasper, calm down. I don't know what happened today, but I do know that you are upset and I want to help you any way I can," I let him know quietly.

"There's nothing you can do, Edward, okay? You can't change my past, you can't change the fact that the therapist is an ass, and you can't help me, understand? So just do what everyone else does when I freak out, leave!" he sobbed out as he slammed the door in my face.

Grabbing the handle, I opened the door, went into his room, and slammed the door behind me. "Enough of this bullshit, all right? It's not my fault that your therapist is an ass, and I can't change your past. But what I can do is change your future."

"Really? How are you going to do that, Edward? Huh, tell me," he demanded crossing his arms over his chest.

Walking over to him, I swiped at the tears on his cheeks with my fingers, and then rested my hands on his shoulders. "By not leaving, Jasper. That's how I'm going to change your future, by not leaving," I whispered as I pulled him into a hug.

Hesitating for just a minute, he wrapped his arms around my waist and settled his head on my chest. His shoulders began shaking as I held him, and I could feel the wetness of his tears soaking my shirt. Squeezing him tighter, I tried to let him know he was safe and secure with me.

"It's okay, Jasper. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere," I murmured against his hair.

We stayed locked together swaying against each other, as Jasper let loose his pain. All that kept running through my mind as I felt his body trembling and his tears soaking my shirt, was what could have happened today in therapy. What could the therapist have possibly said to make Jasper react like this? I didn't know, but I was sure as hell hoping to find out.

When Jasper's tears seemed to slow down, he pulled himself away from me wiping his eyes on his shirt as he went. "Sorry, Edward, I keep doing this shit to you," he rasped out as he plopped down on his bed.

"It's okay, Jas, really," I said as I sat down next to him and gripped his hand in mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, yes, I don't know. I'm just really confused right now. My head feels like it is all jumbled up, you know?" he asked turning to look at me.

"Maybe talking about it will help straighten things out for you. It works for me," I replied encouragingly.

Throwing himself back on the bed, Jasper covered his eyes with his arm while letting out a big sigh. "It's just so hard to talk about. Talking about it has cost me the love of everyone important to me in my life, and I just don't think I can take that risk with you, Edward."

"You can tell me anything, Jasper. There is nothing you can say that will make me turn against you. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with so many horrible betrayals in your life, but I promise you that I won't be one of them," I vowed squeezing his hand.

"She asked me if I thought that maybe I was asking for it..." he mumbled under his breath.

"Asking for what?" I asked as my mind raced. What could she possibly mean? Did she think that Jasper wanted his family to betray him, or did she mean that he wanted James to… Oh no! She couldn't possibly mean that, could she?

"That I was asking for what James did. That I wanted him to take me, to force me, and that when it was all over I was ashamed of my behavior so I accused him the way I did. She said that could be why my family sided against me, because they could tell I was lying about what had happened, what James had done," he sobbed out.

Lying down on the bed, I pulled Jasper into my arms and held him as he cried. "You know she's wrong, right, Jasper?" I whispered into his ear. "James tried to force you to do something you didn't want to do. You did nothing wrong, and you are not to blame. Please believe me when I tell you this."

Jasper disentangled himself from my arms and got up off the bed. Making his way over to the window, he leaned against the jamb and looked out into the night. "I don't know, Edward, maybe there's a little truth to what she says. James is gorgeous, athletic, smart, and funny. When we first met, I did have a little bit of a crush on him, but when I realized he was straight, I gave it up. By the time this happened, I thought of James as a brother, nothing more, which is why I was so surprised that he made a move on me that day."

Walking up behind Jasper, I slid my arms around his waist and pulled him back so he rested on my chest. "Jasper, even if you did harbor an attraction for James, that doesn't mean that what he did is acceptable, because it's not. As for your therapist, I know her job is to make you think and uncover your deepest, darkest feelings; but she's lucky she's a woman cause if she were a guy, I'd storm down there and beat the shit out of him for hurting you this way."

Jasper chuckled into my neck. "My hero! Thanks for that thought Edward, it cheered me up just a little. While I know she has to ask these types of questions, part of me felt like she believed that it happened that way when she asked me about it. As for continuing with her, I'm not sure I can do it."

"You don't have to continue with her if you don't want to, but before you drop her completely maybe you need to ask her why she went in that direction with your therapy. She may have a good reason for it," I reasoned, not wanting to be the cause of Jasper quitting his therapy due to my inane comments.

"Maybe you're right, I should give her the opportunity to explain herself. I think I'm going to call her now and ask her. There's no way I can wait until next week to find out," he yawned.

"Sounds like a plan, Jasper. Make your phone call, take a rest and I'll rustle up some dinner for us," I said heading to the kitchen.

Deciding to make some pasta, I busied myself cutting up some garlic and tomatoes to cook while waiting for the water to boil. A loud stream of cursing from Jasper's room caused me to jump and almost cut my finger. Throwing the knife down on the counter, I ran down the hallway to Jasper's room. There I found him crumpled on the floor like a used paper bag with the phone in one hand and tears streaming down his cheeks.

Kneeling down next to him, I pulled the phone from his hand and tossed it to the side. "Jasper, what's wrong? Please talk to me!" I begged as he continued to sob.

"My father…" he choked out.

"What?" I asked. "Your father called?"

"No," he continued sobbing, "my father spoke with my therapist."

"How? Is that even ethical? I mean, did you give her his number or something?"

"No, she had to call due to problems with the insurance or something, and he gave her an earful before she could even blink. He told her that it was my entire fault what happened, that I pushed myself on James and he fought against me in self-defense. That's why she asked me if maybe I was asking for it, what happened. She believed him, not me," he cried.

"Maybe not, Jasper. Maybe she just asked you to confirm or deny what happened, that's all. What exactly did she say when you called her?" I questioned him gently.

"You mean besides telling me what my father said?" he replied snidely. "She just said that when she called to confirm some insurance information my father told her not to be fooled by my cock and bull story and proceeded to tell her James' version of events. In her defense, she did say that she didn't believe what he said, but it did give her some new avenues to explore with me in the course of my therapy. Although she apologized for upsetting me, she said it was a good experience for me because I need to deal with my feelings of rejection and abandonment. Maybe she's right, but I'm still pissed off, and upset. I don't want my father involved in my life anymore, especially if he still feels that way."

Pulling him closer to me, I kissed the top of his head. "Dealing with these deep-seated feelings may be the best thing for you, but I'm just sorry it had to come about this way. As for your father, you don't ever have to deal with him again if you don't want to, and if you do, I'll be with you all the way."

"Thanks, Edward, I don't know what I would do without you," he whispered as he kissed me chastely.


End file.
